stage n of nauseous coupledom, or poverty: the impromptu hair salon. i'm stretching the truth, though - i was brave enough to attack joe with scissors, but he chickened out when it was my turn. i seem to have given myself the pixie shag i always wanted, so i recommend the experiment - provided that you're willing to 1) live with someone who looks silly and 2) shave your head, if it comes to that. come to think of it, i know a lot of people in that situation.

do-it-yourself part two: vegetarian split pea soup. the key this time is liquid smoke and dried porcini mushrooms. forget tofu - i think mushrooms are the key to meatless living. if the chewy fungus part is too much, they make excellent stock.

the city of san mateo is giving me an aptitude test tomorrow, supposedly to determine if i would be an effective 911 responder. written exams are dandy, but i tend to laugh at inappropriate points in interviews. circa march,

1: would you be comfortable with taking a drug test?
2: ...yes.
1: would you pass?

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