::kidchamp dot net::

07.02.09: from jubilate agno
For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin and glaring eyes.
For he counteracts the Devil, who is death, by brisking about the life.
For in his morning orisons he loves the sun and the sun loves him.
For he is of the tribe of Tiger.
For the Cherub Cat is a term of the Angel Tiger.*
For he has the subtlety and hissing of a serpent, which in goodness he suppresses.
For he will not do destruction, if he is well-fed, neither will he spit without provocation.
For he purrs in thankfulness, when God tells him he's a good Cat.
For he is an instrument for the children to learn benevolence upon.
For every house is incomplete without him and a blessing is lacking in the spirit.

(christopher smart, c. 1758-1763)

*i know, i know, but it was the eighteenth century (in a madhouse). i still think christopher smart is great.
Labels: cats, fuck CRF, poetry

06.22.09: freedom trail

joe and i were required in philly this weekend, so we hopped a train bright and early saturday morning. as in april, i couldn't be bothered to take pictures of independence hall, but i did strike up an acquaintance with the mushrooms growing in front of it. may i present some of our nation's forefungus:

the full set is here. many are out of focus, a few are strangely cropped, and i switched dimensions halfway through, but internets, they are all patriots.
Labels: mushrooms, philly, photography, travel

06.19.09: the digs {updatelet II}

our apartment preferences firmed up a bit more after a tour of open houses on the lower east side last sunday. i've bragged for years that ambient noise doesn't bother me, but it seems i'm a big old liar: joe's favorite of the day, a penthouse overlooking the (winsome but cacophonous) williamsburg bridge, made me feel like plucking my head off and chucking it from the terrace. we've also gotten more than a little drunk on the idea of doubling our current square footage: while anything should look good next to the 375 square feet we have now, the difference between, say, 675 and 800 square feet feels awfully significant. we also made a stop at the doughnut plant down the block (to confirm that it's still amazing) and the closest supermarket (which is both cute and staggeringly cheap compared to similar places up here in midtown). we're heading back down this sunday for a look at four places we weren't able to see without our broker last week; one of the four looks really good (online, at least) and could be a compromise between apartments 1 and 2. the end is nigh, you guys (by saying it, you see, i will make it so).

in the interim, i have another important question: if you were going to break down and buy a big old piece of cat furniture to draw interest from the rest of your furniture so that you might one day have a couch that didn't look like something from the bayou...which of these would you buy?

(clockwise from top left, pieces from everyday studio, the refined feline, modern cat designs, and dkcat)
Labels: apartment hunting, cats, design, imaginary shopping

06.18.09: frank

i noted as i purchased frank (at the renegade craft fair a few weekends ago) that he was a mean little ring: you could really get things done with those ears if you got into a fight while wearing him. "if you wanted to," his designer said. he looked a little dismayed.
Labels: donnie darko, fisticuffs, jewelry, renegade craft fair

06.17.09: if spam poetry be the food of love

each relationship has its own internal logic, and all that.

From: 1
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 4:50 PM
To: 2
Subject: Free beer on my party

we offer the easiest way to stay strong in bed
you really need rolex on your arm;
fitness and good lucks are not far
Don't touch the old bomb
I photoshopped your face

From: 2
Sent:Wednesday, June 17, 2009 5:07 PM
To: 1
Subject: RE: Free beer on my party

Woman Tells Cop She Bought 'Bad Carck'
Mistakes to correct
Join us in park
Labels: joe, poetry, the internets

06.16.09

i panicked when i heard that anne hathaway had signed on for this summer's shakespeare in the park. miss devil-wears-prada-and-princess diaries* in the comedy (twelfth night) that functions as a sequel to shakespeare in love** - and, once again, we'd be in california for a week of the show's run? man, we'd never get tickets. i continue to have great luck in shitty weather, though, and we made it through the virtual line on our first try (last thursday, the night after the elvis costello concert). i grabbed umbrellas and wine from the apartment after work, met joe uptown, and boom, shakespeare for us.

as a summer-in-the-city (especially this-stormy-summer-in-the-city) show, twelfth night has much to recommend it: it's not a midsummer night's dream,*** it's heavy on the cross-dressing and the singing, and it sends you from the theater with a marvelous and memorable "hey, ho, the wind and the rain" faux downer (feste's "when that i was and a tiny little boy;" david pittu killed it as feste, and i'm now very sorry i didn't see him in stoppard's coast of utopia). anne hathaway's voice is just as lovely as it was when she sang with hugh jackman at the academy awards this year, and her physical (stage combat for laughs, a-hath: who knew you had it in you?) and vocal (not verbal, vocal; she plays the his-and-hers role well) comedy is quite good; we were seated too far away to catch many of her facial expressions, alas, so her softer moments as viola fell a bit flat. hamish linklater as sir andrew aguecheek and jay o. sanders as sir toby belch had a didi-and-gogo, rosencrantz-and-guildenstern chemistry that played wonderfully; audra "four-time-tony-winning" mcdonald was a formidable olivia and needs to stop hiding her light under the bushel basket that is abc's private practice; hem, the brooklyn folk-rock types who played the show's original score onstage, pleased me considerably more than folk-rock types generally do. of the four shows i've seen at the delacorte (midsummer in '07, hamlet and hair last year), this was easily my favorite. LMO + 12th 4ever.

*and rachel getting married, of course, but i was thinking of films that would draw non-regulars to the shakespeare lines.

**a convoluted draw, but whatever, i was feeling vulnerable.

***nothing but love for midsummer, but we need some time apart. it has grown common to me.
Labels: central park, shakespeare in the park, theatre

06.11.09

101 in 1001 {II}: 008 see elvis costello in concert [completed 06.10.09]

my friend douglas's pitchfork review of elvis costello's latest album, secret, profane & sugarcane, had me a bit worried before last night's show: he argues that the sugarcanes, the bluegrass ringers who replace the attractions (elvis's rock band), have a hard time keeping up. though i did long for the occasional keyboard squeal, i found that i liked the net effect of this band: since i hadn't yet heard the new stuff, i appreciated the taste of EC's vocals (and the lyrics, bless that man and his clever, clever lyrics) without a lot of garnish. moreover, the show's rootsy underpinnings led to some really fantastic combinations for older and cover material - i loved his interpretation of "femme fatale,"* which he called "a folk song from these parts," and "blame it on cain" got even cooler with a little dobro and accordion sprinkled over the top. so when it was good, the show was very, very good, and when it was bad - oh, my. i wish i could forget hearing "every day i write the book" (a song that's always been a bit too proud of itself, so whatever) and "(the angels wanna wear my) red shoes" (one of my favorites, alas!); i'm sure it gets tiresome to play album versions of things night after night after night, but i can't forgive him for the drawn-out vocal flourishes he added to those songs. the "book" chorus blossomed like a rotten flower; he sang that thing for ten minutes. but! he spent plenty of time (he played for more than two and a half hours) with other, far finer things. i will forgive almost anything for a fiery "(what's so funny 'bout) peace, love and understanding" or an unadorned "alison," and i got both. hell of a guy, that elvis costello.

*props for covering a velvet underground song from the nico era, too. he could mimic lou reed in his sleep; hearing his take on big, teutonic ladyvocals was much more interesting.
Labels: concerts, elvis costello

06.10.09: the digs {updatelet}*

a big development, internets! after making a counter-counter offer on apartment 2 (the fixer-upper in the sky) that was $15K higher than our previous one (a good faith increase, as our broker put it), joe and i received a final offer that knocked another $5K from the asking price (and made it a mere fifty thousand dollars more than we'd be willing to pay). apartment 2 is officially out of the running, then, and i...feel great, actually. a lovely view is a lovely view, but we're not going to pay through the nose for it; i can go back to doodling apartment 1's name on the back of my notebook and don't have to worry about wasting an opportunity.

in other news, i have been channeling pent-up home-purchasing energy into peeping at smaller things we'll need to buy when we finally settle on a place. important question: if you had a little balcony and were going to use part of it to entertain your cats through the window, which of these would you hang on said balcony?

(clockwise from top left, bird feeders from vesseL, eva solo, perch!, and grounded)

*previous installment here.
Labels: apartment hunting, bird feeders, imaginary shopping

06.06.09

101 in 1001 {II}: 027 invent a bitchin� cupcake recipe [completed 06.05.09]

it's hard to argue with the dark and stormy (dark rum over ginger beer and ice, sometimes with a bit of lime; our preferred version is gosling's black seal over maine root ginger brew and ice): it's flavorful and spicy without being cloying or fussy. those sounded like decent parameters for dessert invention, too, and the skies in new york were black and miserable yesterday afternoon and evening, so: i made dark and stormy cupcakes.

this recipe sounds time-consuming and a little kitchen-sinky - because it combines two batters, it does feature everything from fresh ground pepper and molasses to lemon rind and crystallized ginger - but i am the laziest cook i know, and i firmly believe that these little dudes are worth the work.

dark and stormy cupcakes
(adapted from david lebovitz, southern living, and slashfood recipes, with advice from a friendly food editor*)

dark (ginger cake) batter

- 2 oz. fresh ginger, peeled and grated
- 1/2 c molasses
- 1/2 c sugar
- 1/2 c vegetable oil
- 1 1/4 c flour
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp ground cloves
- 1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
- 1/2 c water
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 egg

in a large bowl, mix the molasses, sugar, and oil; in another bowl, stir the flour, cinnamon, cloves, and black pepper together. zap the water in the microwave, stir in the baking soda, then add to the molasses bowl. stir in the grated ginger. whisk the flour mixture into the molasses mixture, then add the egg and mix until thoroughly combined (you'll have a dark, bubbling bowl, sort of like the la brea tar pits).

light (rum cake) batter

- 3/4 c butter, softened
- 3/4 c sugar
- 2 eggs, minus one white
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 tbsp grated lemon rind
- 3/8 c dark rum
- 1 1/2 c flour
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp baking soda
- pinch of salt
- 1/2 c heavy whipping cream

beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. add eggs and vanilla, then lemon rind, then rum, beating each time until blended (you'll have wee, curdled-looking chunks; don't worry, it's supposed to look like that). combine dry ingredients in another small bowl, then add to batter, alternating with the cream, beginning and ending with the dry stuff. stir until just blended after each addition.

act II: they meet

ladle dark batter into lined cupcake pans so that each is just over half-full, then top each with a big dollop (say, 2 to 2 1/2 tbsp) of light batter, like so.

bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees, until a toothpick or fondue fork** comes out clean. cool cupcakes for about 15 minutes (or about five minutes next to a slightly open window, if the weather is as bad as it was last night), then transfer cupcakes to two large platters and poke the hell out of them with a fondue fork (or a cocktail pick, if you want to be clever), like so.

combine 4 tbsp of butter, 3/8 c sugar, and 1/3 c dark rum (gosling's again) in a saucepan over medium heat; when mixture is liquid, stick it over by the window where the cupcakes cooled for about 10 minutes. ladle a large spoonful of the cooled rum sauce over each cupcake.

for frosting, beat 8 ounces (1 package) cold cream cheese with 2 1/2 tbsp. softened butter, 1 c powdered sugar, and 1 tsp. vanilla until combined. add a glug of the gosling's and stir to combine; repeat as necessary until frosting has reached your optimal level of rumminess (i used three).

give each cupcake a dollop of frosting and sprinkle with finely chopped crystallized ginger, thus:

ta-da!

*i consulted a food editor as i invented my recipe, internets: that's how much i love you.

**i use a lot of fondue forks when i cook. it's just a thing.
Labels: 101 in 1001 {II}, booze, cheese, cupcakes, manly manly men, recipe, tar pits

06.05.09: the digs {part 3}*

joe and i have now spent a week thinking about our lives, the universe, and the counter offer we received on apartment 2, the fixer-upper with amazing views. we also reconsidered brooklyn, or williamsburg, at least, which is the neighborhood we know best (as we frolic there now - renegade craft fair tomorrow! - and we lived there back in '03). alas, there were no excellent old lofts for us: there were desolate new condominiums along the waterfront and hypermodern yuppie-boxes that will, ironically, probably be dated in no time. we decided that we didn't need to tour the area this weekend after all: williamsburg is dead to us. we have no williamsburg.

with that behind us, we put another offer in on apartment 2. this is where things could get interesting, for we're now approaching the high end of what we would be willing to pay (since we would probably have to spend at least $30K on renovations just to make it comparable to apartment 1, the less expensive place with so-so views that's move-in ready). my feelings about the risks and rewards of renovating are still all over the place, but i can honestly say that apartment 2 at the price we just named would be great. i can also say that i still think apartment 1 is our destiny (we'll reconsider it if apartment 2's seller is immovable). it has a cold-war-themed kitchen just like ours, internets, and what are the odds of that? accuse me of being one of those horribly superficial house hunters who fall in love with places for cosmetic reasons if you must; i know that what apartment 1 and i have is real.

imaginary reading group discussion questions

01 how wrong is it to fall in love with the first place you see? how do you know if, well, it's the real thing?

02 if you've ever bought property, how many candidates did you consider before settling on your purchase?

03 do you think raymond chandler was right to abandon "twenty inches of monkey" as a name for one of his detective stories? (i'm about a third of the way through that chandler biography i bought a few weeks ago; it's pretty good.)

*parts 1 and 2, and a wee updatelet.
Labels: apartment hunting, raymond chandler

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and you will know us by the stuff we've read (the recent dozen):

the lady in the lake (raymond chandler) :: raymond chandler: a biography (tom hiney) :: the little sister (raymond chandler) :: the long goodbye (raymond chandler) :: farewell, my lovely (raymond chandler) :: sharp teeth (toby barlow) :: rabbit, run (john updike) :: neuromancer (william gibson) :: brideshead revisited (evelyn waugh) :: watchmen (alan moore and dave gibbons) :: the big sleep (raymond chandler) :: the brief wondrous life of oscar wao (junot diaz)