it can be so easy to make my day - as i walked down 52nd to work this morning, i passed a lively construction site with a traffic detour display screen that read WHATEVER.

because we have been working like dogs - not hard core, badger-fighting dogs, but maybe teeny circus dogs that wear funny clothes and run around with clowns - joe and i will be vacationing our asses off in los angeles / orange county (woot) next week. if you live between those poles, bring it.

from the hengartner lab in cold spring harbor, worm quotes, and let us not forget the birthday cake featuring superworm.


people tell me things. i was at au bon pain just now getting a salad, for instance.

abp cashier: how are you doing?
me: not bad, and you?
abp: i had a friend stop by.
me: oh, that's good.
abp: no, a bad friend. someone i don't want to see.
me: you shouldn't have told him where you worked.
abp: no, not that kind of friend. a once-a-month kind of friend.
me: but national sexual and reproductive health awareness day was february 12. today you've simply confused me, and i'm about to forget to take a fork.
me actually: oh. oh. [forgets fork]


while it's tragic to visit a new city without getting a real chance to explore, i could learn to like business trips - The Corporation favors rather swanky hotels, and i had enough time for southern food (we like fried green tomatoes very much now) and better mexican than i've had in quite a while in nyc. then there's the wicked sunburn from two days in piedmont park, the utter lack of refreshing weekend sleep, the squirmy knowledge that i head-butted my smoking buddy (he seemed fine with it, and it was jovial rather than sinister, but still), and so on. more information needed.


pleased to report that my neurosis was totally unfounded (see 4.17) and ms. gaw is a lovely person. soon i may not fear girls at all - and what a day that will be!

my mother was in attendance for the 31st annual running of the dachshunds at uc davis's picnic day. sadly, she missed the "training chickens, goats and giraffes" lecture. i've been lobbying for her to get chickens since she moved to cow country, but i suppose i understand her objections.

as of sometime this evening, joe and i have been dating for five years. if i can put my finger on what that feels like, i'll let you know.


though no one else seems to enjoy this joke, i think i give it all the love it needs.
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with

a fish under his arm.
"Do you have any fishcakes?" he asks.
"Yes, of course," says the fish shop owner.
"Great," replies the man, nodding at

the fish under his arm, "It's his birthday."
i hear rumors that ms. gaw will be at the 118 madison party tonight. i'm hoping that a face-to-face will resolve my utterly random yet crippling fear of her; we will see what we will see. we will also attempt to take pictures of leroy wearing my spider man mittens.


what a relief! women's wear daily silenced the bitter debates and threw down rankings for ivy league fashion sense.
1. brown
2. columbia
3. upenn
4. yale
5. harvard
6. cornell
7. princeton
8. dartmouth
brown on penn: "It's all the same type of girl - straight hair, all trying to do the same thing, all label-heavy. The guys, they dress how their mom would want them to dress for their Sunday brunch."

princeton on yale: "Yale is similar to Brown, but more boring."

columbia on harvard: "At Harvard, students either play into their stereotype, by strolling the 'Yard' in a sweater vest and loafers, or rebel against Ivy League stigma by every means possible, which means wearing a sweater vest and loafers."

harvard on cornell: "Cornell is considered the token Ivy. They might have needed one in upstate New York."

penn on princeton: "I mean, Talbots is like the only store in Princeton."

penn on dartmouth: "At Dartmouth, you can't tell if they're going camping or to class."

yale on dartmouth: "New Haven has definitely impacted my daily style for the worse. Thank God I didn't go to Dartmouth."


ye blog chain gimmicks, this one via caterina (so it's okay):

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

in my case it was tony's copy of kurt cobain's journal (oo, topical!):
my lashes and brows are curling up and melting emiting the worst smell of burnt hair and thru the Red Transparency of the light in my eyelids I can see a close up view of blood cells move as I move my eyes back and forth like footage of A documentary of amoeba and plankton jelly like seething life forms moving man they must be small i cant feel them my eyes must be able to see things more clearly than I had expected it's like a microscope but it doesn't matter anymore cause they set me on fire now yep Im sure of it I'm on fire God damn it.
and to think i never finished that book.


i scratch my chin and try to dream up amusing consequences of things like the passion of the christ - and those wacky believers keep right on outdoing my imagination.

Easter Bunny Whipped at Church Show; Some Families Upset

A church trying to teach about the crucifixion of Jesus performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs, upsetting several parents and young children.

People who attended Saturday’s performance at Glassport [Pennsylvania]’s memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, “There is no Easter bunny,” and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.

Melissa Salzmann, who took her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. “He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped,” Salzmann said.

Patty Bickerton, the youth minister at Glassport Assembly of God, said the performance wasn’t meant to be offensive. Bickerton portrayed the Easter rabbit and said she tried to act with a tone of irreverence.

“The program was for all ages, not just the kids. We wanted to convey that Easter is not just about the Easter Bunny, it is about Jesus Christ,” Bickerton said.

Performers broke eggs meant for an Easter egg hunt and also portrayed a drunken man and a self-mutilating woman, said Jennifer Norelli-Burke, another parent who saw the show in Glassport, southeast of Pittsburgh.

“It was very disturbing,” Norelli-Burke said. “I could not believe what I saw. It wasn’t anything I was expecting.”


and here i was feeling like a rock star for booking a segment on weekend today for a subject of questionable interest. it should have been obvious that no one in their right mind gets up at 4.30 on sunday morning, and that i was this week's sucker rather than a public relations deity. ah well - i got to eat half a bagel in the NBC green room and chat with a news anchor who wore clear shoes. now i get to sew like a madwoman for the next few hours instead of going back to bed, as i drank more coffee in fifteen minutes than most people have in several shifts at mission control.


this piece has me singing "pink moon" with lyrics about brad pitt movies - "fight club gonna get ye all..." - but that's okay. last night i fell asleep with "how lovely cooks the meat" in my head, and i'm glad to have it gone.
Brad Pitt to Host Radio 2 Show on Dead UK Singer

LONDON (Reuters) - Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt is to present a music documentary on BBC Radio 2 in May on the life of British singer-songwriter Nick Drake.

Pitt, one of Tinseltown's highest paid stars, will narrate the life story of Drake, who died in 1974 at the age of 26.

"I was introduced to Nick Drake's music about five years ago, and am a huge admirer of his records," Pitt said in a BBC statement.

"When Radio 2 approached me to get involved in this project, I was delighted to be asked." The program, which airs on May 22, includes a Norah Jones version of Drake's song "Day is Done." [shudder]

Drake had little commercial success from the three albums he recorded during his lifetime, but in the years after his death -- from an overdose of anti-depressant drugs -- his music has become increasingly popular.

"Drake is regularly cited as an influence by some of Radio 2's core artists, including REM, Paul Weller and Badly Drawn Boy," said Lesley Douglas, Controller BBC Radio 2 and 6 Music.

Drake's death was ruled a suicide by a coroner, but his family and friends believe his overdose of a prescribed drug was accidental.


we're missing what will probably be a very good thermals show in the company of douglas & co this evening; though i tried to nap and chug coffee a few hours ago, late fun was/is too much for tuesday. this had better not be another stage of getting old.

see, i'm trying to give something back to the black table after borrowing their content so many times. it's not much, but we give what we can.


via phil, slate's who's got the acid?, an exploration of the shocking lack of LSD on the market. a shame, that - plentiful are the evenings i come home from a long day of work and wish i could watch tentacles erupt from joe's face. if you don't feel like reading the piece, the best phrase is definitely
The cultural hunger for a substance that lets you hold affordable conversations with God, watch walls melt, breathe colors, and explore your psyche remains unsated.
my rock supergroup will be called "poetry's next millionaires"; our album, affordable conversations with god.


tom passed the bar exam! tom, i am doing the dance of joy, perfect strangers-style, in your honor.

i want to put together a literary magazine. anyone want to help?

04.01.04 (iii?)

you'll have to indulge my fixation on search terms for a few months; my hosting company has just started letting me see them. it's like christmas.

top ten kidchamp visitor search terms, mar 04:

i hate christina ricci
martha stewart sexy jail photos
the champ - the dentist
titanic lounge chairs
inspirational teamwork short story
infection satin underwear
cat laxatives
what phylum does scooby doo belong to?
sci-fi fakery nude
what is the male armadillos role in raising his young

04.01.04 (ii)

naturally none of my alumni picks showed, but i did see an actor who played 'god / the bartender' in rodeo, an undergraduate show for which i was assistant (wait for it) puppeteer. that's deliciously random in five different ways.

finally got my contributor copy of the hazmat review (vol. 6, issue 2). perfect bound! my stuff! selling (in theory) at city lights for twelve dollars! who could care about paying the bills when my poems come back to me in these marvelous little books?