09.17.01 your southern can is mine

shame on me for gawking at valerie when she said she plunged her drain for work friends. my mum's rolling into town later this evening and i'm frantically cleaning the stove. never mind that i'm using a sleeping bag for a comforter and hanging my bath towel on the vacuum: i have a plan. after work i'm lint rolling my car.

i want a superfan. jen posted about headless mister bear and some random guy sent her a song about him: hey! i had a stalker when i wrote a column for the daily in college, but he mostly asked me out and compared us to peanut butter cups. no love, no love.

on the possibility of a recession: jake reports that someone scored $10 for eating a brick of havarti at saturday's gossip / aislers set show. he didn't look so well, but there are niches, is what i'm saying.

slant slant rhyme: the line of truth

tofu > soul food
bordetella < elvis costello
martinelli's > carson daly
scream, blacula, scream! (1973) > christina aguilera
orange county > shantih shantih shantih

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