i'm rarely envious of executives, but i'd have given a good deal to be a fly on the wall at the MPA panel last week for magazine advertisers and their minions. jon stewart hosted a discussion ("laughing matters: magazines celebrate humor") with editors in chief jim kelly (time), graydon carter (vanity fair), kate white (cosmopolitan), and the inimitable david zinczenko (men's health). there's a diligent rundown at mediabistro's fishbowlNY. it's possible that it's heavy on industry-funny, but funny-funny's there.

(on men's health)

JS: Dave, why is your magazine so gay? I enjoy health. And yet, when I read it, I don't know whether to go to the doctor or rub my own nipples.

DZ: I think fit is the new rich. I think -
JS: What?
DZ: Thin is the new rich. Being fit has status, and...
JS: [looks at Jim Kelly, gestures at Zinczenko] Look how poor we are.
JK: [shrugs] I'm thinner in person.

JS: David, why are the men in your magazine on the cover always showered? If they knew they were going to be on the cover, they could have showered before the photo shoot.

DZ: It's like, Marshall McLuhan said, all jokes are grievances, so what you have to do is disarm [the readers] enough through humor and then arm them with the information that they need to change their lives. So we come in - not unlike what you do on your show, Jon.
JS: I've often said The Daily Show is the poor man's Men's Health.

JS: Why do men have nipples?

(on time)

JS: Time magazine has been a tradition in America, yet...what happened? One federal prosecutor says 'let me see your notes' and immediately everyone pulls their underwear over their heads and hands it over. Not only that...Newsweek breaks the story. Jim, what the fuck?

JS: Jim, when will Time magazine find Jesus?

(on cosmo)

JS: Kate. What should Graydon's wife have done on their honeymoon?
KW: I can make a few suggestions from the Love Lab.
JS: There really is a Love Lab?
KW: Of course - everything is fact-checked.
JS: Everything is fact-checked? Your saucy tips are fact-checked? When you write about greeting your husband in Saran Wrap, it's fact-checked?
KW: Saran is dead.


sara said...

man, i got stop reading blogs at lunch if my friends are going to be this funny. i wanted to cry: big, fat tears of laughter.

sara said...

ohmygosh. i so have to learn "the joys of proofreading". sorry! (plus i'm running on 4.5 hours sleep)

lauren said...

dude, you're friends with jon stewart?

sara said...

i realize how that sounds now. but, really, you are funny for putting this up on 'champ. i was tired.