101 in 1001: 049 get my damn wisdom tooth removed [completed 01.24.08]
after all that yeti talk the other day, my tooth turned out to be more of a vampire. i got a local injection rather than general anaesthesia, so i was awake for the battle: my dentist spent ten extremely awkward minutes coaxing it out of the socket as it changed into a bat, then a wolf, then a clammy mist. when he finally got a good hold, the thing cracked and left a piece of root in place, so there followed another ten minutes of trying to kill that part, burning the remains, then salting the earth. i suspect that this piece will rise and come back for revenge, but i'm ready: i haven't needed the vicodin he prescribed.* bring it, you little shit!

i took today and tomorrow off in case tooth madness caused my head to fall off (and because i have like ninety-seven sick days), so i've been busy knocking down oscar movies with the spare time (juno this afternoon and once this evening; atonement and maybe i'm not there tomorrow). i'll be posting my customary predictions over the next few days, and i'll be needing help with picks for this year's pub pool - you game?

the missus is in the first night of darts championships this evening, so i'm off to talk trash and drink warm beer. wish him luck, o internets.

*after i asked.** my dentist is a frontier type - he told me to pack my gums with teabags ("real tea, not that herbal stuff") if i ran out of gauze, and to stick to warm beer ("and no beer through a straw!") for a few days. people respond in fascinating ways when i wear my monster truck shirt in public.

**i was coached to ask for percocet and chickened out at the last minute. i'll respect the amateur pharmacist's privacy; let's just say it's someone who's married to me.


g said...

glad the extraction worked out, even if it was a bit more involved than the dentist originally thought.

re: teabags & tooth extraction... they're particularly suited for the task because of the size, shape, and texture. far more importantly, the tannic acid in tea aids in clotting.

now you know. and knowing is half a badger.

lauren said...

he mentioned the tannic acid, but not the physical properties; this is all making me want to throw a teabag in there, even though things seem to be going well down there so far. that said, we saw there will be blood* this afternoon and something about all those mining accidents got me worrying about that exposed bit of root still in town. maybe sainsbury's red label (the hardcore british stuff we bring back from oxford) will pacify it?

side note: the dentist's office dog is a black flat coat retriever. i don't think anyone was dying for this information, but it's new to me, so there you go.

*there was blood!

sharon said...

so are you saying you can or cannot drink my milkshake right now?

[actually, as i recall, a milkshake was the first thing i "ate" after my wisdom teeth were removed in high school. milkshake thusly hidden from you.]


lauren said...

had i my thermonuclear time straw, i could in fact drink your milkshake (having just watched my cousin do bruce springsteen singing the milkshake song on MADtv, the preteen boy who lives in my head is sniggering at this). i dutifully avoided straws on thursday, but by friday at the movies i had a megadietcoke and popcorn (which, chewed on only the right side of my mouth, was very weird).

sara said...

my first drink post-wisdom-teeth-extraction: a blended vanilla from amsterdam. through a straw, baby, through a straw!

lauren said...

god, i am so slow.