my anglophilia could be traced back to my grandfather. he was able to spend the years after retirement on trips with my grandmother; they went to britain many times, and for a particularly memorable summer they lived in the dorms at cambridge and took university courses. though i've always adored him, i loved him best when he told me long stories about that year. he was, in turn, even more excited than i was about the terms i spent at oxford.

my favorite conversation with him began the one and only time he gave me money. he knows that i want to marry joe in the garden behind the magdalen college house where we met; he has also known for a long time that he will die before that happens. while rooting through a box of odds and ends last year he found a handful of pounds and pence that he stuck in a subway token holder for me - because he would never be back in england, he said, and on my wedding day i would need to find a pub and buy myself a pint from him.

Hey, Lau...

Caroline called this afternoon and said that Grandpa had gone into fibrillation again, and now was refusing to let them use the paddles to stop it. He has also requested that they take him off all medications, heart pacers as well as antibiotics, with the exception of an anti-seizure drug. At the moment he's still in ICU, but tomorrow they will probably move him into a hospice room at the hospital. If he's stable they'll move him back to the nursing home's hospice facilities. He really wants to stop going through this, and you can't blame him after all the time that it's gone on. I had a good visit with him yesterday and more than anything else he's just tired of fighting every day, feeling sick and in pain. So, it shouldn't be much longer, hopefully not prolonged once they stop medicating except for painkillers.

I'll let you know as soon as I know anything else...take care...

Lots of love,

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