kudos to ms. gaw for pointing out 10 reasons why x is better than y. justification generators make us happy, and they work so well with yesterday's paragraphs -
10 reasons why marriage is better than rotting alone.on pairings, i passed the afternoon making a tape for the car. the ensuing test drive was marvelous - who knew "unloveable" (the smiths) would complement "sweet caroline" (the langley schools music project) so well? "the killing moon" (echo & the bunnymen) / "beast of burden" (the rolling stones) - my word! and annie's dehydrated macaroni and cheese is heavenly when mixed with soymilk. take this, america, and use it well.
10. marriage is ubiquitous in shadow
9. you can have as many marriages as you can handle
8. a frigid marriage is a good marriage
7. marriage's nemesis: an omnipotent malevolent being. rotting alone's nemesis: a beer-bellied liar
6. marriage doesn't suddenly grab you and take you to other places
5. your marriage never leaves the house after 9pm
4. to capture marriage, you need a real trap. to capture rotting alone, you say: "hey, captain, here's a pit" and push him in
3. rotting alone never said "abandon ship! all hands abandon ship!" because he was already out of there at the first hint of trouble
2. marriage doesn't turn your bathroom into a library
1. "i'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "i'd rather kiss a wookie."
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