07.31.13

the dirty dozen-ish {notes from my hometown police blotter, as reported by the oc register}*

Disturbance. 12:52 p.m. The caller reported a man and a woman making out on the grass and said it's not appropriate.
Illegal peddling. 7:36 p.m. The caller reported a man going door to door and arguing when he's refused.
Disturbance. 11:37 a.m. The caller reported an argument with 16-year-old grandson over a computer.
Citizen assist. 12:46 p.m. The caller said someone is spitting on his car every morning. The caller thinks it's a neighbor who lives behind him.
Suspicious person/circumstances. 7:57 p.m. The caller reported a boy smoking marijuana behind the electrical shed.
Suspicious person/circumstances. 8:00 p.m. The caller said people are possibly lighting something on fire in the park.
Vandalism in progress. 12:27 p.m. The caller reported a woman lying down on the bus stop and writing on it with a pink marker.
Disturbance. 5:45 a.m. The caller reported inviting a woman over and said she is now refusing to leave.
Suspicious person/circumstances. The caller reported someone trying to get into a wedding party as an uninvited guest.
Disturbance. 1:26 p.m. The caller reported a man eating yogurt, yelling about the government and using bad language.
Disturbance. 11:37 p.m. The caller reported loud people who have hopped the fence and are in the pool.
Disturbance. 10:39 p.m. The caller reported four people on bicycles being loud.
Defrauding an innkeeper. The caller said a man drank $100 worth of alcohol and left without paying.
Suspicious person/circumstances. The caller reported a drunken man sleeping in the planter. The caller said there are newspapers all around him.
Suspicious person/circumstances. The caller reported hearing someone knocking on the door twice. The caller's husband turned on the light and saw shadows.

*inspired in part by chelsey johnson's excellent incident reports from park rapids, minnesota.

10 comments:

Rachel said...

Eating yogurt is a shocking, criminal act, after all. So 1990s.

Amanda said...

You teally should cease and desist with the pink markers, Lau.

Amanda said...

*really

lauren said...

honorary mention via jacob from an ancient edition of the palo alto daily news - mountain view, i salute you.

Anonymous said...

jacob says...

in addition, lauren reminded me of this accidentally anti-semetic menorah theft in state college, pa back in 2002:

http://old.post-gazette.com/localnews/20021212menorah1212p5.asp

LPC said...

I am such a slowpoke today.

These are real? Or Lake Woegone-style inventions?

lauren said...

these are absolutely real. i removed dates and street addresses (though it's public information, so that was probably unnecessary), and i chose my favorites, of course, but that's all the editing i did.

jen said...

i love this post.

rdela said...

this raises tantalizing questions like what was she writing on the bus stop with her pink marker?

lauren said...

@rdela this is laguna hills we're talking about, so it was probably something about younglife or taco bell.