ass adventure (prologue). if personal growth is a matter of doing the things that scare one shitless, i'll soon be a mighty woman. my boss told me that the best way to make friends in the office is to volunteer for features; on cue, the first call for guinea pigs popped up on the group e-list last week. long story short, i'm heading down to the village tomorrow so someone can take pictures of my ass in a thong. then crazy beauty treatments for a month, then another photo shoot, then national magazine time. how about that, ma?

in related news, just got back from chasing circus elephants down 34th street. elephants are fast, as it turns out, and we ended up waiting an hour or more for a 30 second stampede of pachyderms, ponies, and a huge street sweeper repurposed for poop. i promised mike $5 for a photo of elephant shit, but i don't think he'll be able to deliver. 'sokay, the evening was still magical.

judd harris update: as of this week, hazy waking dreams will feature fan chat, dirty rumors, and upcoming gig and album info. visit early and often.

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