ask kidchamp, round V {vegan feet, fire-eating, and men in dresses; previous installment here}
are there vegan shoes (dress shoes in particular) that don't feel like your feet are steaming in their own personal sauna?
A: if you ever become interested in womenswear (see below), i strongly recommend stella mccartney; she's been turning out some of the most user-friendly (in terms of both comfort and one's ability to roll into a high-stakes fashion situation) vegan accessories in town for years, and they turn up on ebay in good shape at reasonable prices. in the interim, keep your eyes peeled for olsenhaus, a brand that patrols the non-PVC (PVC is environmentally brutal and uncompromising re: perspiration, as you probably know) shadowlands between ultra-haute vegan stuff and, like, hemp slip-ons. for men, i like the time travelers, which are a handsome coated cotton. for myself, i have and love a pair of sandals from a few seasons ago, and i'm eyeing the babylon ballet flats, which are made of microfiber derived from recycled television screens and have soles made of recycled rubber and sawdust. (olsenhaus shoes are often steeply discounted online.) give the novacas men's collection a look, as well; the vegan internets have long spoken highly of their boots in re: foot angst.
what was a time you responded inappropriately to a serious question?
A: at some point late in the magical year i worked in public relations, my coworkers and i gathered around a conference-room table to eat chopped salads and exchange seasonal pleasantries and mildly-revealing personal information. someone asked everyone else to describe what they would be doing with their lives if they hadn't gone into PR, and i said that i quite liked the idea of being a pyrotechnician. we all studied our salads.
have you ever thrown your cats a party? top five ever mag freebies? most and least pricey fashiony purchases of all time?
A: i have never thrown my cats a party, though i have probably thrown a party with the secondary or tertiary goal of debuting a cat. a coworker of mine recently lost a dog and threw a party for her surviving dog because she didn't want him to feel alone, which broke my heart and doubled my respect for her.
my top five ever magazine-editor freebies are a complicated vacuum, a mysterious black wool sample dress that was never produced for the market, a massive iittala aalto vase, a bottle of decennial's bois bourbon eau de toilette, and a bottle of 18-year-old highland park (honorable mention goes to 5,321 scented candles, 763 blankets, and a bunch of workout gear that makes me look like an eastern european ice dancer).
my least pricey fashiony purchase of all time is probably a pair of gold spike earrings i found online for $3 a few years ago; my priciest, in turn, is the navy blue wool chloé coat i bought at a consignment store two weeks ago. it makes me feel like a tolstoy heroine and cost far less than it might have, but i still needed lisa to sherpa me through the decision via text. (lisa, i salute you.)
or are these to be general? ie, how do i make coffee that isn't terrible?, what is the training for fire-eating?, etc
A: i like all questions. as a former surly coffee pro (i miss you sometimes, facial piercing), i am of the belief that if one is unable or unwilling to purchase a straight-up coffeehouse-caliber espresso machine—the elephantine, horrifically expensive kind that would kill you if it fell on you—one should skip amateur espresso drinks and focus on a kick-ass cup of pressed coffee. per the folks at roasting plant, our local devastatingly-high-quality coffee place, a french press maximizes the contact between your beans and your hot water. simple, no? they are also not a pain in the ass to clean, which makes them far more attractive to me than more intricate coffee gadgets. if you insist on making complicated stuff like mochas, mix your chocolate and your milk together before you steam them, as my first coffee-boss taught me.
the training for fire-eating is amateur fire-eating, of course. you'll need sambuca (romana is fairly easy to find), a champagne flute, and a book of matches. pour a shot of sambuca into the flute, swirl it around to kick up some fumes, and light the surface with a match; douse the flame immediately by putting your hand flat across the top of the flute (the vacuum you create will make the flute stick). have an assistant stand by with a book of matches, pour the sambuca into your mouth, tilt your head back, and have said assistant light it with a match; let the resultant flame frighten your friends and neighbors for a second, then close your mouth to put it out, wait a second to be sure, and swallow. (you can do the lighting yourself, but i wouldn't recommend that unless you're especially experienced, especially foolhardy, or both.) my point is that eating fire is extinguishing fire, really (the first rule of fire-eating is, predictably, never, ever breathe in, which is why the flaming sambuca is good practice; the second is don't eat fire when it's windy). the main two extinguishes are closing your mouth around the fire to deprive it of oxygen and blowing quickly outward with a puff (preferable if your torch is too hot to touch with your mouth). the third is that you should be very careful when making a torch, of course; DIY at your own risk (torch components can be found among fire equipment from a juggling store; personally i am quite taken with the wicked fire fans, which are, alas, inedible). the internet will try to tell you that fire-eating necessitates a tiny top hat, but that's between you and your supervising deity of choice, i think.
Late Entry: Contra past comments, has any sex-related art ever... ahem... seduced you into a notable state of appreciation?
A: i'm both a little unclear on what you're asking and fairly sure the answer would be no regardless? that said, i still remember where i was when i saw brad pitt's all-minidress rolling stone feature circa fight club, and sweet christ. for legends-of-the-fall-brad-pitt fans it was dylan going electric; for me it was, well, dylan going electric.
imaginary reading group discussion questions
01 after unsuccessfully haggling with the (kind of mean) consignment store folks for my coat, i took it home and discovered a pair of fur-trimmed gloves that had been wrapped with it by mistake. what should i have done with them?
02 do you think my coworker's dog felt better?
03 where and when did you have the best cup of coffee of your life?
04 have you ever eaten fire? would you?
05 what do you think of brad pitt in a dress?
Showing posts with label ask kidchamp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ask kidchamp. Show all posts
08.05.11 {on deep-fried kool-aid}
My questions are two: How? Why?
A: how: as one would make doughnut holes or falafel, according to most of the recipes i've seen. jumble several tablespoons of kool-aid powder with sugar, flour, and fat, then chuck little scoops of the resulting batter in a deep fryer, probably in an off-putting trailer.
why [the orange county fair, suppliers of our batch]: because it's there, as sir edmund hillary* put it. why [me, the eater of our batch]: because it is bitter, and because it is my heart. also vegetarianism really problematizes neophilia: when i can eat mysterious food, i almost always do.
does fried kool aid pair well with kool aid?
A: the inventors say yes; my guess would be no. i'd pair it with seltzer or a dry cider to offset the banshee sweetness.
what does it taste like?
A: like a feral churro raised by sweet tarts, and i mean that as a compliment; good texture and a moist crumb with a pleasantly unnerving citric finish. i dislike bland pastries and am extremely fond of dentally catastrophic fruit flavors, so i found them interesting, which is not to say that i'd face down more than one ever again, probably. i have my pride.
how does frying affect color? Can you make shapes (like pancakes)?
A: it browns it out a bit [fig. 2]; think falafel, or the exterior of a red velvet cake. i think a pancake presentation probably wouldn't be as successful; the dough needs to stay fairly moist to dignify the one-note flavor of the kool-aid crystals.
did you make joe eat one?
A: yes.
do your nails always look like that?
A: unless i'm in a wedding party.
how long did it take the east village to start selling a vegan version of deep-fried kool-aid?
A: three weeks.
My questions are two: How? Why?
A: how: as one would make doughnut holes or falafel, according to most of the recipes i've seen. jumble several tablespoons of kool-aid powder with sugar, flour, and fat, then chuck little scoops of the resulting batter in a deep fryer, probably in an off-putting trailer.
why [the orange county fair, suppliers of our batch]: because it's there, as sir edmund hillary* put it. why [me, the eater of our batch]: because it is bitter, and because it is my heart. also vegetarianism really problematizes neophilia: when i can eat mysterious food, i almost always do.
does fried kool aid pair well with kool aid?
A: the inventors say yes; my guess would be no. i'd pair it with seltzer or a dry cider to offset the banshee sweetness.
what does it taste like?
A: like a feral churro raised by sweet tarts, and i mean that as a compliment; good texture and a moist crumb with a pleasantly unnerving citric finish. i dislike bland pastries and am extremely fond of dentally catastrophic fruit flavors, so i found them interesting, which is not to say that i'd face down more than one ever again, probably. i have my pride.
how does frying affect color? Can you make shapes (like pancakes)?
A: it browns it out a bit [fig. 2]; think falafel, or the exterior of a red velvet cake. i think a pancake presentation probably wouldn't be as successful; the dough needs to stay fairly moist to dignify the one-note flavor of the kool-aid crystals.
did you make joe eat one?
A: yes.
do your nails always look like that?
A: unless i'm in a wedding party.
how long did it take the east village to start selling a vegan version of deep-fried kool-aid?
A: three weeks.
*or, as george notes, george mallory put it (unless his quote was massaged). in other news, hillary described everest's summit as "a beautiful, symmetrical snow cone."
03.02.11: ask kidchamp, round IV {quiffs, magazines, beach reads}
What do you know about gelatin & hair?!?
A: i know that gelatin's the go-to stuff for relatively weatherproof mohawks,* and that it's the styling product of choice for synchronized swimmers (it'll reliquefy with moisture and warmth but stands up to cool water quite well). it's better for your hair than spray (which is often alcohol-based) or glue (which is, you know, glue), as it's related to keratin; it's related to keratin because it's made of bone and connective tissue, unfortunately, which is why vegan punks won't use it and why i can't eat most haribo products.
What do you know about gelatin & hair?!?
A: i know that gelatin's the go-to stuff for relatively weatherproof mohawks,* and that it's the styling product of choice for synchronized swimmers (it'll reliquefy with moisture and warmth but stands up to cool water quite well). it's better for your hair than spray (which is often alcohol-based) or glue (which is, you know, glue), as it's related to keratin; it's related to keratin because it's made of bone and connective tissue, unfortunately, which is why vegan punks won't use it and why i can't eat most haribo products.
saw the devil wears prada for the first time last night. is that really what it's like?
A: my first magazine job bore an unfortunate resemblance; i spent a miserable summer afternoon sprinting around the city in search of a particular kind of vitamin water, and i was frequently frostbitten for missing references to peripheral media properties in the dozen newspapers i had to skim before leaving for the office each morning (or for forwarding those references a minute or two late). i was tempted to expense my cigarettes that year, and i still feel queasy panic when i read certain new york papers. my current job is almost nothing like lauren weisberger's at vogue: my coworkers occasionally wear flats, are frequently pregnant, and are almost always considerate. that said, there is a fairly constant stream of weird free stuff, i quarter cupcakes without irony, and i've lost count of the number of times i've shared an elevator with someone who suddenly whipped off their pants.
can you recommend some beach reading? i'd like something fun to read that isn't trashy.
A: well, i continue to think raymond chandler turned out some of the tastiest prose in town. though his novels are detective stories, i don't think you have to worry about putting him down and losing your place as you vacation; he's a stickler for continuity, and his eye for detail is so bleary-perfect that you can return to his settings in a blink. try the big sleep, and maybe have farewell, my lovely on hand for emergencies. if you want to stretch a bit more, several of the essays in DFW's a supposedly fun thing i'll never do again are great fun; try the title piece (re: a caribbean cruise), or "getting away from already being pretty much away from it all," on the illinois state fair (pdf here). i also conferred with some bookish locals on your behalf: our lovely entertainment editor recommends the paris wife (a fictionalization of hemingway's relationship with hadley richardson), a novelist friend says that she "kind of liked/hated" j courtney sullivan's commencement (about four women who meet as undergrads at smith) and notes that freedom moves along at a good clip; maddie dawson's the stuff that never happened is a big favorite with my lady the book editor, and said editor's upcoming thriller (cara hoffman's so much pretty) is "amazing." i also think you should make a grab for my itinerant copy of a discovery of witches, which has, i believe, recently returned from thailand.
imaginary reading group discussion questions
01 how big was/is your biggest hair?
02 would you be more likely to need gelatin for a mohawk or for synchronized swimming?
03 worst job you ever had?
04 should i bring a book to iceland? one could need a beach read for the blue lagoon, no?
*a friend of mine dated this kid called ender who'd slather his hair with gelatin and iron out his foot-tall mohawk on a board. that's neither here nor there, i just thought you should know.
02.25.11: ask kidchamp, round III {meat, gifts, greats}
do you cook meaty meals for joe at home? what's an example of something you've whipped up?
A: my shifts at the student coffeehouse's sandwich counter in college were my last official food-prep-with-meat experience; i was a pretty lousy sandwich maker, as i couldn't differentiate between meat-varieties especially well. i do buy kielbasa at the greenmarket for our annual nyc-based holiday shindig, and i used to pick up requests like salami and prosciutto at the butcher's counter at the amish market; i kind of sucked at that, too (seriously, omnivorous halves of blended couples: don't tell your vegenauts to "get whatever looks good"), so it's probably best for everyone that joe went fish-only this past fall. it's a pesco, internet! we had one fairly short conversation about the ethics behind his decision, but i'm not interested in hustling him into premature ultrameatlessness; like the cuttlefish, i will camouflage myself and lead him to believe he is alone on the sea floor.
do you cook meaty meals for joe at home? what's an example of something you've whipped up?
A: my shifts at the student coffeehouse's sandwich counter in college were my last official food-prep-with-meat experience; i was a pretty lousy sandwich maker, as i couldn't differentiate between meat-varieties especially well. i do buy kielbasa at the greenmarket for our annual nyc-based holiday shindig, and i used to pick up requests like salami and prosciutto at the butcher's counter at the amish market; i kind of sucked at that, too (seriously, omnivorous halves of blended couples: don't tell your vegenauts to "get whatever looks good"), so it's probably best for everyone that joe went fish-only this past fall. it's a pesco, internet! we had one fairly short conversation about the ethics behind his decision, but i'm not interested in hustling him into premature ultrameatlessness; like the cuttlefish, i will camouflage myself and lead him to believe he is alone on the sea floor.
Dear Kidchamp,
What should I buy as a wedding gift for my friends who are getting married this summer? She is an art history phd with interesting taste in surrealist installations. He is a poet/barman who likes to pretend he can cook. She lives on black coffee and muesli. They are both 24 & expect to move around a lot over the next few years for her work.
They are not registered or I would buy them towels and a toaster.
Tell me what to dooooo.
A: from most to least practical, i'd say
- an immersion blender, for it can almost always stand in for a food processor and is far simpler to clean and store (and is so very good for soups and drinks);
- a proper ice cream maker, for hardly anyone is frivolous enough to buy one for themselves and yet it produces the ice-cream-eating equivalent of the moment when dorothy steps from her house into the land of oz;
- the times comprehensive atlas of the world (12th ed.), for with a great book of maps one is always formidable and prepared;
- little joseph the hand-painted porcelain head, for one's twenties should have a witness, and when you apply a candle to him he develops the loveliest waxy hair.
I'll bite: based on your reading, who is the greatest LIVING author? (yes, I know, opinion vs. fact, but that's how I roll).
A: my first knee-jerk answer is david mitchell, my second is salman rushdie, and my third is philip pullman; i think that third knee is the one to watch. while it's entirely possible that i'm giving him extra credit for being "the most dangerous author in britain," it remains that he champions humane self-actualization and spins a ripping good yarn. both mitchell and rushdie are stronger technicians, but pullman is hardly atheism's stephenie meyer; the his dark materials trilogy was necessary for my very survival for the days it took to read it, sure, but it's beautifully made, and it's stuck with me and informed subsequent reading and, er, living. hey, i see you looking at me like i'm holding a copy of the fountainhead. quit it, man.
imaginary reading group discussion questions
01 pescetarians. are they fooling themselves?
02 how many kinds of meat d'you figure you can identify on sight?
03 what's the best wedding gift you've ever given?
04 could you sleep near a doll head?
05 from which living author would you most like to receive a wedding gift?
09.20.10ii: ask kidchamp, round II {goat-cats, turf wars, research}
dear @kidchamp, why does my cat eat the shower curtain, and most importantly, how can i get him to stop?
it could have something to do with the fact that he's a siamese; like people, some cats have pica (that is, the compulsion to eat non-food items). check this out:
how many months till we consider the blended cat family a success or total failure? must we always hurdle this baby gate?
A: honestly? twelve. i've caught chuck and steve sleeping together a grand total of twice since we adopted steve this past february - and chuck has always shared his house with another cat, and steve was about ten weeks old when we brought him home. your cats are used to being alone, and they're both adults; given that they've only shared space for a few months now, it'd be pretty shocking for them to have accepted each other already. if you actually do have a baby gate, take it down; unless they're drawing blood when they interact, they should be in the same space. have you tried the commingling-their-stinks-by-brushing-them-with-the-same-brush trick? we found that one particularly useful when jude would come home from the vet smelling like an alien.
what's the strangest fact you've ever had to check?
A: ah, fact checking. while i've never had to confirm that bill murray has a glass of warm milk before bed or that luke perry's house is haunted ("are you dead people?!"), i have lost valuable hours of my life trying to find, like, definitive spellings of celebrities' pets' names. i was once asked to figure out what happened to the maya, and i had a fedora and a big old bullwhip all picked out for myself by the time the question was rethought and retracted. probably the strangest thing i've actually had to check was whether or not it's possible for someone to be suctioned to an airplane toilet. (it's not.)
dear @kidchamp, why does my cat eat the shower curtain, and most importantly, how can i get him to stop?
it could have something to do with the fact that he's a siamese; like people, some cats have pica (that is, the compulsion to eat non-food items). check this out:
Anecdotally and in studies, Siamese cats seem most prone to pica, especially with woollen items. There are reports of Burmese cats being attracted to electrical cables (possibly attracted to plastics). This indicates a genetic predisposition.i'm guessing your shower curtain isn't made of wool, but the breed thing is crazy, no? steve's days of being left alone with my pendleton blankets are over, i tell you. health conditions like hyperthyroidism (which is common in older cats) can also cause increased appetite; is that a possibility? if your guy's due for bloodwork (cbc/superchem, which should be annual for all cats over the age of about 6; it's not a cheap panel, but it's thorough and vital), that could give you an answer. if he's healthy, it could simply be that he likes the sensation of chewing plastic (many cats do), or that he's bored; in that case, nastify your shower curtain with a taste deterrent like bitter apple or bitter cherry. some cats are also repelled by strong smells like lavender and lemon verbena, but they can't metabolize essential oils, which can be extremely toxic; since you're dealing with unwanted eating, not scratching or spraying, i'd stick with explicitly veterinary stuff.
In one British study of 152 fabric-eating cats, 55% were Siamese, 28% were Burmese, 6% were "other Oriental" and 11% were other breeds or randombred cats. Pica also ran in families with over half the owners reporting that their cats' siblings also ate wool or fabric. 93% started with wool and moved on to other fabrics. 64% also ate cotton. 54% ate synthetic fabrics. The wool-eating typically began between the ages of 2 and 8 months (a time period encompassing weaning and puberty) and there was no gender bias. In some cases, the habit was so established that owners had no choice but to provide an old garment for the cat to chew.
how many months till we consider the blended cat family a success or total failure? must we always hurdle this baby gate?
A: honestly? twelve. i've caught chuck and steve sleeping together a grand total of twice since we adopted steve this past february - and chuck has always shared his house with another cat, and steve was about ten weeks old when we brought him home. your cats are used to being alone, and they're both adults; given that they've only shared space for a few months now, it'd be pretty shocking for them to have accepted each other already. if you actually do have a baby gate, take it down; unless they're drawing blood when they interact, they should be in the same space. have you tried the commingling-their-stinks-by-brushing-them-with-the-same-brush trick? we found that one particularly useful when jude would come home from the vet smelling like an alien.
what's the strangest fact you've ever had to check?
A: ah, fact checking. while i've never had to confirm that bill murray has a glass of warm milk before bed or that luke perry's house is haunted ("are you dead people?!"), i have lost valuable hours of my life trying to find, like, definitive spellings of celebrities' pets' names. i was once asked to figure out what happened to the maya, and i had a fedora and a big old bullwhip all picked out for myself by the time the question was rethought and retracted. probably the strangest thing i've actually had to check was whether or not it's possible for someone to be suctioned to an airplane toilet. (it's not.)
09.20.10: ask kidchamp,* round I {metal, owls, the alma mater}
dear @kidchamp, a) where can i find a titanium chain for my antler tine and b) would it be a bad idea to wear a titanium chain around my neck??
A: titanium's a fantastic material for accessories: it's light, tough, and physiologically inert, which is part of why it's used so often as a surgical supply (for artificial hips, screws, and so on). note that it osseointegrates (that is, bone tissue attaches to it), though, so if you ever develop an exoskeleton or acquire lady gaga's skeleton corset, you'll want to stop wearing the chain. as to where to find it, you've undoubtedly gathered that most titanium chains seem aimed squarely at the veiny-armed-guy market; the most delicate version i turned up is 2 mm thick and available in several lengths. if brick and mortar's your thing, i popped in to ask the girls at catbird about sources last night; they suggested going straight to the jewelry district. i would add that you might have luck with a jeweler/piercer, a la adorned; they have a lot of experience with alternative metals and could very likely point you in the right direction.
Dear @kidchamp, can you advise me on the best way to hash up an owl mask with minimum tears?
A: start with felt: good, sturdy felt if you can find it (i order wool felt from prairie point junction, and it is boss), squares from a craft store if you can't. the plastic masks you find at party stores would make a good base, though you might consider making your own template out of heavy cardboard and sandwiching it between two pieces of felt; it won't be as shaped, but you'll have more latitude for your base layer. hit google images for inspiration: think venetian bird masks, art masks (click on the question mark to see the full photo; that one's my favorite), the panels in watchmen when daniel dreiberg's making his nite owl costume. you can pull apart a duster for feathers (or find them in bulk at a craft store); personally, i'd stick to fabric, as it'll be more durable. upholstery fabric remnants are also a good bet; they fray nicely and are good for neutral colors with a bit of texture. use ribbon or a leather strip to create ties; elastic will get saggy over time, it does weird things to your hair, and it's not especially adjustable. as to the layering itself, invest in a glue gun if you don't have one, then make like my mom (maker of two full-body bird costumes, one of which she still uses twenty years later; i texted her for pointers last night): "Start w/a plain mask, then glue feathers in circular patterns from the outside in...but 1st, layer gold/brown felt w/stiff interfacing, cut into a 6" or so triangle, then bend it over nose part of mask and trim into right size for the beak. Glue on. THEN feathers."
what should a gal wear to her 10-yr college reunion (esp when all her fancy clothes have been in her closet since the 5-yr)?
A: her most flattering LBD (this is a good excuse to get a new one, if you feel like shopping; a good black dress pays for itself almost immediately) and one statement accessory (shoes or a necklace are solid bets), preferably one with a story behind it to serve as backup in case of foundering chitchat. "oh, this? i found it when we went up to seattle last year and stayed in this fun hotel with pet goldfish in the rooms..." my go-to dress is a short, grecian norma kamali for everlast i picked up for a wedding two years ago; NK's stuff is crazy-flattering, and her everlast collaboration is full of clever, durable materials.
internet, have you a secret titanium hookup (that sounds so cybernetic), owl mask experience, or reunionwear tips? how about an exoskeleton? do tell.
dear @kidchamp, a) where can i find a titanium chain for my antler tine and b) would it be a bad idea to wear a titanium chain around my neck??
A: titanium's a fantastic material for accessories: it's light, tough, and physiologically inert, which is part of why it's used so often as a surgical supply (for artificial hips, screws, and so on). note that it osseointegrates (that is, bone tissue attaches to it), though, so if you ever develop an exoskeleton or acquire lady gaga's skeleton corset, you'll want to stop wearing the chain. as to where to find it, you've undoubtedly gathered that most titanium chains seem aimed squarely at the veiny-armed-guy market; the most delicate version i turned up is 2 mm thick and available in several lengths. if brick and mortar's your thing, i popped in to ask the girls at catbird about sources last night; they suggested going straight to the jewelry district. i would add that you might have luck with a jeweler/piercer, a la adorned; they have a lot of experience with alternative metals and could very likely point you in the right direction.
Dear @kidchamp, can you advise me on the best way to hash up an owl mask with minimum tears?
A: start with felt: good, sturdy felt if you can find it (i order wool felt from prairie point junction, and it is boss), squares from a craft store if you can't. the plastic masks you find at party stores would make a good base, though you might consider making your own template out of heavy cardboard and sandwiching it between two pieces of felt; it won't be as shaped, but you'll have more latitude for your base layer. hit google images for inspiration: think venetian bird masks, art masks (click on the question mark to see the full photo; that one's my favorite), the panels in watchmen when daniel dreiberg's making his nite owl costume. you can pull apart a duster for feathers (or find them in bulk at a craft store); personally, i'd stick to fabric, as it'll be more durable. upholstery fabric remnants are also a good bet; they fray nicely and are good for neutral colors with a bit of texture. use ribbon or a leather strip to create ties; elastic will get saggy over time, it does weird things to your hair, and it's not especially adjustable. as to the layering itself, invest in a glue gun if you don't have one, then make like my mom (maker of two full-body bird costumes, one of which she still uses twenty years later; i texted her for pointers last night): "Start w/a plain mask, then glue feathers in circular patterns from the outside in...but 1st, layer gold/brown felt w/stiff interfacing, cut into a 6" or so triangle, then bend it over nose part of mask and trim into right size for the beak. Glue on. THEN feathers."
what should a gal wear to her 10-yr college reunion (esp when all her fancy clothes have been in her closet since the 5-yr)?
A: her most flattering LBD (this is a good excuse to get a new one, if you feel like shopping; a good black dress pays for itself almost immediately) and one statement accessory (shoes or a necklace are solid bets), preferably one with a story behind it to serve as backup in case of foundering chitchat. "oh, this? i found it when we went up to seattle last year and stayed in this fun hotel with pet goldfish in the rooms..." my go-to dress is a short, grecian norma kamali for everlast i picked up for a wedding two years ago; NK's stuff is crazy-flattering, and her everlast collaboration is full of clever, durable materials.
internet, have you a secret titanium hookup (that sounds so cybernetic), owl mask experience, or reunionwear tips? how about an exoskeleton? do tell.
*tip of the hat to esb, whose dear esb posts (which, fingers crossed, could soon pop up at mcsweeney's) are so very titillating that i had to yoink the concept.
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