CONSUMED: A PARTIAL LIST.
fancy soap (late-stage capitalism).
duross & langel chai madness: vegan, long-lasting, a spicy scent that primarily perfumes one's shower and doesn't linger. i load up on this stuff at the brick and mortar store when we go to philly. their candles are understated and lovely, too; we're burning this one right now and i'm already excited about what i'll plant in the vessel once it's kicked.
goatboy soaps irish tweed: like a benevolent old librarian, the kind with fantastic eyebrows. the folks at the union square greenmarket who sell ultra-local honey also sell this goat's milk soap, and i imagine i'll test-drive a bunch of scents over the next few months.
kalastyle halló iceland moss: our all-time favorite, and that's not just the iceland fetish talking. it's made with (and smells like) hand-harvested moss! i also appreciate the halló iceland volcanic ash and kelp soaps; haven't tried the angelica. moss is the absolute banger, though.
wonder valley hinoki: at the far end of the fanciness spectrum, and a good gifting choice; the packaging is exquisite. the hinoki is subtle but there, and the super-high-quality olive oil gives the bar fantastic texture. good lather. is it three times better than our icelandic standby? no. can cleansing ourselves with the finest things before the sea takes us make a difference, in the final analysis? maybe.
our country (play). i have now had four live theatre experiences this year, three of them today (the fourth was that participatory thing at the library two weeks ago – also, like today's hat trick, part of the public's 2023 under the radar festival), and i've never felt so alive! i haven't felt so alive recently, anyway; it also helped that joe and i ran through the rain to dinner between today's second and third shows. this wonderfully experimental performance combined ancient theatre, recorded interviews, choreography, shadow puppetry, sleight of hand, feats of strength, audience interviews and even blanket forts to create a composite portrait of a sibling dynamic that was genuinely exciting; the shared and individual histories co-creator/performer annie saunders and her acting partner shared were interesting, but i mean that the way all of those things developed that history got me excited about telling stories of my own. our country is sort of about individualism and the frontier; it's also a wild mishmash of antigone and girl, interrupted, and it's one of the most vivid explorations of sibling interactions i've seen in a long time. "my brother has a criminal history. he’s actually great now. but for many, many years, that was the dynamic. i spent a few days with my brother in the summer of 2016 and made about 10 hours of tape of us talking to each other about 'antigone,' our childhood, criminality, the law. that became a major part of the show," saunders told the times at the beginning of the festival. she told us at the beginning of this performance that it might be the show's last, ever, and i really, really hope that it isn't; it's the most interesting theatre i've seen since the first time i saw annie baker's the flick a decade ago.
skinamarink (film). joe says that a couple of people walked out of our theater when we saw this, but i didn't notice; i was clenched in my seat with my hand hovering over my face and an obscure, ashy taste in my mouth. if you were a certain kind of lonely child, the kind that spent a couple of years or more than a couple of years desperately scrabbling around for other humans to sleep beside, i suspect this movie will scare the piss out of you, as it did me. it doesn't depict children experiencing a waking nightmare; it recreates the feeling of having a waking nightmare as a child, the unspeakably terrible architecture that reveals itself in certain stretches of the dark. i used to eat ostensibly poisonous things to call adults' bluffs and knock my wind out on the regular for the chance to be the youngest or first kid to use the high dive or fling herself from a jumping rock... and after dark my bravado shriveled into nothing and i used to sneak into my little sisters' room and cower on the floor next to their bunk bed. i still sleep best on my stomach with my head turned to the right and my sheets over my head and pursed around my nose! it's just old habit now, but skinamarink was a spicy meatball for me. if you're the type of horror fan who watches things to sound your own depths, to yell and see what echoes back, it's worth seeing. in other horror news, here is what happens when you look for wasps in figs from trader joe's.
Showing posts with label imaginary shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label imaginary shopping. Show all posts
05.17.11: the dirty dozen {twelve purchases i have wished to make since ye olde shopping hiatus began}
01 needlepoint loafers
02 rock hill farms bourbon
03 green eyeliner
04 an old chair
05 a monocular
06 dirt
07 a five-pack of dice
08 cologne
09 shanna murray decals
10 a handful of gold dollar signs
11 the great night, chris adrian
12 jewish pirates of the caribbean, edward kritzler
the good news is that i inherited cologne from a beauty feature at the office, i fell out of love with the decals (joe would never sign off on them), no one else appears to want the dollar signs and they'll be waiting for me at the end of the hiatus, and amanda took pity on me and brought me swedish fish. the bad news is that i seem to shop like a geriatric sex criminal.
01 needlepoint loafers
02 rock hill farms bourbon
03 green eyeliner
04 an old chair
05 a monocular
06 dirt
07 a five-pack of dice
08 cologne
09 shanna murray decals
10 a handful of gold dollar signs
11 the great night, chris adrian
12 jewish pirates of the caribbean, edward kritzler
the good news is that i inherited cologne from a beauty feature at the office, i fell out of love with the decals (joe would never sign off on them), no one else appears to want the dollar signs and they'll be waiting for me at the end of the hiatus, and amanda took pity on me and brought me swedish fish. the bad news is that i seem to shop like a geriatric sex criminal.
02.25.11: ask kidchamp, round III {meat, gifts, greats}
do you cook meaty meals for joe at home? what's an example of something you've whipped up?
A: my shifts at the student coffeehouse's sandwich counter in college were my last official food-prep-with-meat experience; i was a pretty lousy sandwich maker, as i couldn't differentiate between meat-varieties especially well. i do buy kielbasa at the greenmarket for our annual nyc-based holiday shindig, and i used to pick up requests like salami and prosciutto at the butcher's counter at the amish market; i kind of sucked at that, too (seriously, omnivorous halves of blended couples: don't tell your vegenauts to "get whatever looks good"), so it's probably best for everyone that joe went fish-only this past fall. it's a pesco, internet! we had one fairly short conversation about the ethics behind his decision, but i'm not interested in hustling him into premature ultrameatlessness; like the cuttlefish, i will camouflage myself and lead him to believe he is alone on the sea floor.
do you cook meaty meals for joe at home? what's an example of something you've whipped up?
A: my shifts at the student coffeehouse's sandwich counter in college were my last official food-prep-with-meat experience; i was a pretty lousy sandwich maker, as i couldn't differentiate between meat-varieties especially well. i do buy kielbasa at the greenmarket for our annual nyc-based holiday shindig, and i used to pick up requests like salami and prosciutto at the butcher's counter at the amish market; i kind of sucked at that, too (seriously, omnivorous halves of blended couples: don't tell your vegenauts to "get whatever looks good"), so it's probably best for everyone that joe went fish-only this past fall. it's a pesco, internet! we had one fairly short conversation about the ethics behind his decision, but i'm not interested in hustling him into premature ultrameatlessness; like the cuttlefish, i will camouflage myself and lead him to believe he is alone on the sea floor.
Dear Kidchamp,
What should I buy as a wedding gift for my friends who are getting married this summer? She is an art history phd with interesting taste in surrealist installations. He is a poet/barman who likes to pretend he can cook. She lives on black coffee and muesli. They are both 24 & expect to move around a lot over the next few years for her work.
They are not registered or I would buy them towels and a toaster.
Tell me what to dooooo.
A: from most to least practical, i'd say
- an immersion blender, for it can almost always stand in for a food processor and is far simpler to clean and store (and is so very good for soups and drinks);
- a proper ice cream maker, for hardly anyone is frivolous enough to buy one for themselves and yet it produces the ice-cream-eating equivalent of the moment when dorothy steps from her house into the land of oz;
- the times comprehensive atlas of the world (12th ed.), for with a great book of maps one is always formidable and prepared;
- little joseph the hand-painted porcelain head, for one's twenties should have a witness, and when you apply a candle to him he develops the loveliest waxy hair.
I'll bite: based on your reading, who is the greatest LIVING author? (yes, I know, opinion vs. fact, but that's how I roll).
A: my first knee-jerk answer is david mitchell, my second is salman rushdie, and my third is philip pullman; i think that third knee is the one to watch. while it's entirely possible that i'm giving him extra credit for being "the most dangerous author in britain," it remains that he champions humane self-actualization and spins a ripping good yarn. both mitchell and rushdie are stronger technicians, but pullman is hardly atheism's stephenie meyer; the his dark materials trilogy was necessary for my very survival for the days it took to read it, sure, but it's beautifully made, and it's stuck with me and informed subsequent reading and, er, living. hey, i see you looking at me like i'm holding a copy of the fountainhead. quit it, man.
imaginary reading group discussion questions
01 pescetarians. are they fooling themselves?
02 how many kinds of meat d'you figure you can identify on sight?
03 what's the best wedding gift you've ever given?
04 could you sleep near a doll head?
05 from which living author would you most like to receive a wedding gift?
11.22.10: the dirty dozen, part I {conspicuous consumption}
01 say, have you heard of orphan thanksgiving? it's not actually especially orphan-related, though i'm working on that: it's an "i made this" flickr group in which photos of tasty thanksgiving dishes from around the world rub elbows on the internet. it's a tapestry of calorie-dense magic, if you will. college friends and i started it a few years ago, and it remains surprisingly satisfying to stop by and check out each other's potatoes. come on in!
02 speaking of potatoes, emily gould has intrigued me:
03 i'm not in charge of potatoes this year; i'll be defrosting the cheese pumpkin i squirreled away a few months ago to make throwdown pumpkin pie (i'm already excited about making the bourbon-maple whipped cream, which is the sort of topping which could trick one into eating one's own hand) and summoning either dark salty caramels or homemade twix bars (or both?) from the sugary ether. my relationship with caramel remains problematic, but tomorrow is another day - and even inchoate candy is better than no candy at all.
04 takae mizutani's my egg & soldiers. more breakfast-related castles, please.
01 say, have you heard of orphan thanksgiving? it's not actually especially orphan-related, though i'm working on that: it's an "i made this" flickr group in which photos of tasty thanksgiving dishes from around the world rub elbows on the internet. it's a tapestry of calorie-dense magic, if you will. college friends and i started it a few years ago, and it remains surprisingly satisfying to stop by and check out each other's potatoes. come on in!
02 speaking of potatoes, emily gould has intrigued me:
[C]eleriac may look weird, but it is a great addition to mashed potatoes. Make sure you peel off all the hairy parts, then slice it into chunks and boil it with five or six potatoes. When the potatoes and celeriac chunks are all fork-pierceable, mash them with some cream cheese, milk, garlic butter and scallions. People will be amazed by the potatoes and won’t know why.
The farmer’s market shopper seemed skeptical but I think that was because of my evangelical zeal and the fact that she hadn’t initiated an interaction with me. “That was really something to share with the Internet, not a specific human,” I remember thinking as I walked away.
03 i'm not in charge of potatoes this year; i'll be defrosting the cheese pumpkin i squirreled away a few months ago to make throwdown pumpkin pie (i'm already excited about making the bourbon-maple whipped cream, which is the sort of topping which could trick one into eating one's own hand) and summoning either dark salty caramels or homemade twix bars (or both?) from the sugary ether. my relationship with caramel remains problematic, but tomorrow is another day - and even inchoate candy is better than no candy at all.
04 takae mizutani's my egg & soldiers. more breakfast-related castles, please.
imaginary reading group discussion questions
01 where will you spend this thanksgiving? are you in charge of any of the cooking?
02 have you any experience with this celeriac-in-mashed-potatoes business?
03 do you think national opt-out day will really happen on wednesday? are you concerned about travel?
04 what did you have for breakfast?
01.27.09: frak.
it's been a bit more than a week since we relocated our microwave and toaster oven to the appliance morgue beneath the trash chutes next to our building.* we've done pretty well without the toaster oven, i must say; it might get hectic the next time we need to, like, toast some pine nuts, but we're not big bagel people (read: i love bagels so much that it's safer for everyone to keep them out of the apartment), and i think we could broil something in the oven if we wanted it badly enough. i thought we weren't big microwavers, either, but i was oh so wrong: while we don't zap much frozen food, we do make big sunday night batches of dinnerish stuff (chili, soup, lentils) that need to be coaxed back to the world of the living during the week. i tried playing the tough guy and eating cold chili after work last week and it nearly killed me, man.
so we're in the market for a microwave. in the course of our search, we've learned that microwaves, like americans, are a lot bigger than they were a decade ago; most microwaves are butt ugly; the 29th result for "microwave oven" on amazon.com is an episode from the fourth season of bones; and it's really hard to shop for microwaves online.** you have to be able to slam the door, beep-boop the buttons, all that good stuff.
we know that we want something big enough to fit a dinner plate, probably stainless steel, hopefully not gigantic. futuristic, but in a retro way (a '78 cylon centurion, if you will - not a reimagined one***). have you seen that sort of microwave in your travels, internets? if you like the one you have at home, does it have a sister (that is, would you recommend your model)?
it's been a bit more than a week since we relocated our microwave and toaster oven to the appliance morgue beneath the trash chutes next to our building.* we've done pretty well without the toaster oven, i must say; it might get hectic the next time we need to, like, toast some pine nuts, but we're not big bagel people (read: i love bagels so much that it's safer for everyone to keep them out of the apartment), and i think we could broil something in the oven if we wanted it badly enough. i thought we weren't big microwavers, either, but i was oh so wrong: while we don't zap much frozen food, we do make big sunday night batches of dinnerish stuff (chili, soup, lentils) that need to be coaxed back to the world of the living during the week. i tried playing the tough guy and eating cold chili after work last week and it nearly killed me, man.
so we're in the market for a microwave. in the course of our search, we've learned that microwaves, like americans, are a lot bigger than they were a decade ago; most microwaves are butt ugly; the 29th result for "microwave oven" on amazon.com is an episode from the fourth season of bones; and it's really hard to shop for microwaves online.** you have to be able to slam the door, beep-boop the buttons, all that good stuff.
we know that we want something big enough to fit a dinner plate, probably stainless steel, hopefully not gigantic. futuristic, but in a retro way (a '78 cylon centurion, if you will - not a reimagined one***). have you seen that sort of microwave in your travels, internets? if you like the one you have at home, does it have a sister (that is, would you recommend your model)?
*i'd feel guilty about that, but both of them still worked, technically; if the microwave in particular could make it from an anonymous hallway to our friend tony's place however long ago, and then from tony to us in 2003, i think it will find a new host (in both senses of the word) without trouble. also, let's all ignore how i just told you our microwave came from a hallway.
**harder than shopping for skinny jeans online, and how is that possible?
***translation: NO POPCORN BUTTON.
08.27.08: the dirty dozen, part I {her smell is not possible}
01 via the people's popsicle, a crew that makes frozen treats out of greenmarket goodies at brooklyn flea every sunday, a recipe for peach, chamomile, and honey pops: now, where was this when i brought peaches home from the upper west side last month? verily, i'll be hunting for a bouquet of chamomile flowers down in union square this weekend.
02 last friday, to my great surprise, george and joe agreed to watch teeth, better known as "jaws meets the vagina monologues!" (per the village voice). we were all fairly unmoved (saved! did a better job of spoofing the abstinence movement), though joe and i did enjoy adapting and singing songs with "vagina dentata" rhymes under our breaths for the next few hours ("hakuna matata" in his case, "escape (the pina colada song)" in mine). what a wonderful phrase indeed.
03 in bruges (the first feature-length film by martin mcdonagh, the irish playwright) didn't inspire song, but it's the first UK gangster flick i've appreciated in years - probably because bruges itself is such a spooky beauty (and mcdonagh's sets are all about purgatory via hieronymus bosch, one of my favorite painters). i recommend it, especially if you're the sort who lets movies influence your vacation plans: i'm all about planning a belgian expedition after next year's iceland trip (i realize i'm talking about 2010, but hey).
04 karl lagerfeld on the media, from an interview in the sunday times:
05 as cable news crews hunted for cra-a-azy hillary fans on the convention floor after the keynote last night (they only found one, but she haunts me still), i was reminded of that oldie-but-goodie, current tv's target: women's take on suffrage ("you watch army wives? i watch army wives! i'm voting for you!").* i am over the question of whether or not PUMAs will make a difference in november; i thought hillary's delivery of harriet tubman's lines was thrilling, but i don't know that it mattered. was what she said significant for undecided voters? it's been so very long since i've seen or heard from any that i really couldn't say.
06 reusable/washable produce bags with tiny skulls! between the free stuff table here at casa de ladymag and the four thousand craft fairs i attend, i don't really need any more tote bags for the grocery store; i do occasionally take those wimpy little disposable produce bags, as the bundles of cilantro i buy at the amish market appear to be ripped straight from a bog and muddy up the rest of my veggies. these (less wasteful, with skulls) are much better.
01 via the people's popsicle, a crew that makes frozen treats out of greenmarket goodies at brooklyn flea every sunday, a recipe for peach, chamomile, and honey pops: now, where was this when i brought peaches home from the upper west side last month? verily, i'll be hunting for a bouquet of chamomile flowers down in union square this weekend.
02 last friday, to my great surprise, george and joe agreed to watch teeth, better known as "jaws meets the vagina monologues!" (per the village voice). we were all fairly unmoved (saved! did a better job of spoofing the abstinence movement), though joe and i did enjoy adapting and singing songs with "vagina dentata" rhymes under our breaths for the next few hours ("hakuna matata" in his case, "escape (the pina colada song)" in mine). what a wonderful phrase indeed.
03 in bruges (the first feature-length film by martin mcdonagh, the irish playwright) didn't inspire song, but it's the first UK gangster flick i've appreciated in years - probably because bruges itself is such a spooky beauty (and mcdonagh's sets are all about purgatory via hieronymus bosch, one of my favorite painters). i recommend it, especially if you're the sort who lets movies influence your vacation plans: i'm all about planning a belgian expedition after next year's iceland trip (i realize i'm talking about 2010, but hey).
04 karl lagerfeld on the media, from an interview in the sunday times:
"I have no problem with journalists – many are friends," he says. "Only if they are really stupid, or if they've got bad breath, or if they smell. Yesterday I had a problem. I said, 'I'm sorry, you've got to tell this woman that she needs to be taken away. Her smell is not possible.' "
[...]
"I'm mad for books," he says, sitting motionless behind his black Dior shades. "It is a disease I won't recover from. They are the tragedy of my life. I want to learn about everything. I want to know everything, but I'm not an intellectual, and I don't like their company. I'm the most superficial man on Earth."
05 as cable news crews hunted for cra-a-azy hillary fans on the convention floor after the keynote last night (they only found one, but she haunts me still), i was reminded of that oldie-but-goodie, current tv's target: women's take on suffrage ("you watch army wives? i watch army wives! i'm voting for you!").* i am over the question of whether or not PUMAs will make a difference in november; i thought hillary's delivery of harriet tubman's lines was thrilling, but i don't know that it mattered. was what she said significant for undecided voters? it's been so very long since i've seen or heard from any that i really couldn't say.
06 reusable/washable produce bags with tiny skulls! between the free stuff table here at casa de ladymag and the four thousand craft fairs i attend, i don't really need any more tote bags for the grocery store; i do occasionally take those wimpy little disposable produce bags, as the bundles of cilantro i buy at the amish market appear to be ripped straight from a bog and muddy up the rest of my veggies. these (less wasteful, with skulls) are much better.
imaginary reading group discussion questions
01 how can you tell if a peach is ripe without squeezing it? apparently squeezing is discouraged.
02 ever been to bruges? is it as magical as it seems?
03 what did you think of hillary's convention speech?
*the whole series (sarah haskins's comedy shorts on how women are pitched) is pretty excellent; chick flicks and birth control are especially zesty.
10.06.06
the dirty dozen: october doldrums edition* [part 3]:
009 my cold-weather thing is, apparently, buying a frivolous stuffed beast; i am a ten-year-old. last year it was yul; this year, it's - shame! - a starbucks halloween creature.** i'd post a picture (as it's quite cute, naturally), but i promised myself that i wouldn't pull the trigger unless i successfully pitched a lifestyle story at work; since i failed there, i decided that it shall be hidden until said successful pitch.
010 at the other end of the spectrum, there's absolutely nothing wrong with buying swag to pay for a dog's cancer treatments, especially when the swag says I [HEART] TRIPODS. behold the 'i heart tripods' blog, and the story of lulu the three-legged dog. give her all of your money. go on.
011 the ladymag had a four-way surprise party yesterday morning for me, a fellow newlywed, and two very pregnant coworkers. the format pleased me, as my card-and-massage-certificate-opening shared stage time with baby swag praise and another bride's stories. i still choked when it was my turn to talk, though, which is fucking frustrating: i've made peace with the fact that i'm no longer the full-of-herself teenager who could speak in front of a thousand people and wear 8" platforms to class without batting an eye, but it would be nice to talk to a few dozen benevolent colleagues without losing my voice. i think of situations like those whenever someone argues that medication alters one's authentic personality: what if the other me is the one i'm supposed to be? i'm not unhappy now, not at all, but i know that if i decide to pharm it up again someday, i won't flinch. suck it, tom cruise.
012 celebrities v. giant inflatable rats, the worldwide fug edition.
woo woo, haylie duff! semi-famous siblings shouldn't count, you say? i spend enough time over at go fug yourself that passing miz duff on the way home from work (wearing black leggings, no less) is, honestly, up there with the q&a with james carville a few weeks ago.***
rats: 3.5
star: 8
the dirty dozen: october doldrums edition* [part 3]:
009 my cold-weather thing is, apparently, buying a frivolous stuffed beast; i am a ten-year-old. last year it was yul; this year, it's - shame! - a starbucks halloween creature.** i'd post a picture (as it's quite cute, naturally), but i promised myself that i wouldn't pull the trigger unless i successfully pitched a lifestyle story at work; since i failed there, i decided that it shall be hidden until said successful pitch.
010 at the other end of the spectrum, there's absolutely nothing wrong with buying swag to pay for a dog's cancer treatments, especially when the swag says I [HEART] TRIPODS. behold the 'i heart tripods' blog, and the story of lulu the three-legged dog. give her all of your money. go on.
011 the ladymag had a four-way surprise party yesterday morning for me, a fellow newlywed, and two very pregnant coworkers. the format pleased me, as my card-and-massage-certificate-opening shared stage time with baby swag praise and another bride's stories. i still choked when it was my turn to talk, though, which is fucking frustrating: i've made peace with the fact that i'm no longer the full-of-herself teenager who could speak in front of a thousand people and wear 8" platforms to class without batting an eye, but it would be nice to talk to a few dozen benevolent colleagues without losing my voice. i think of situations like those whenever someone argues that medication alters one's authentic personality: what if the other me is the one i'm supposed to be? i'm not unhappy now, not at all, but i know that if i decide to pharm it up again someday, i won't flinch. suck it, tom cruise.
012 celebrities v. giant inflatable rats, the worldwide fug edition.
woo woo, haylie duff! semi-famous siblings shouldn't count, you say? i spend enough time over at go fug yourself that passing miz duff on the way home from work (wearing black leggings, no less) is, honestly, up there with the q&a with james carville a few weeks ago.***
rats: 3.5
star: 8
*i shouldn't be bored, since october is easily my favorite month. we have a remedy (we have?): henceforth it's rocktober.
**i don't actually hate starbucks; i quite like clean bathrooms, and the word on the street is that they treat their employees quite well. i simply prefer to purchase beasts from people who make them by hand (like beth, whose critters are gorgeous).
***however, i do not consider haylie duff my boyfriend.
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