an asking meme, this time from douglas (adapted for the 'champ):
If you're reading [kidchamp] today or tomorrow, I'd like you to ask me something. Up to three questions, and anything goes--literally anything you want my answers to. I promise not to take offense at any questions, and to answer every one (either [onsite] or by private mail) as well and honestly as I can.
ask, ask! address queries and abuse for me to cuttlefish[at]gmail[dot]com: questions and answers will appear below.

Q What is your favorite meal? (If you nibble things here and there and don't really have time for a proper sit-down, so state.)

A breakfast - i only get to have it on weekends or vacation. nostalgia tells me that i favor stinky english breakfasts from oxford and london: do we trust nostalgia?

Q What the best show you've seen in the past year? (Define "show" as you will: music at a club, theatrical performance, etc.)

A rasputina (goth girls with trembly voices and heavily distorted cellos) at the knitting factory. haven't seen any theater (apologies, accomplished drama friends), and very few bands - i expect either baby dayliner this weekend or the magnetic fields next thursday to cannonball into first place. more on that when the time comes.

Q Pick one problem in the world--profound, mundane, or somewhere in between. You have one month to put the wheels in motion. What would you do, and what would you need in order to solve the problem?

A san francisco motorists suck ass. i would heckle city hall to institute an incident-based nomination system, on a daily or weekly basis, to single out shitty drivers; he or she who generated the most complaints in a given period would be unceremoniously stripped of their license and/or residential parking permits. an audit committee would evaluate questionable "convictions" in the event of peevish voting blocs or the like.

Q i 'll turn to that ever reliable drunk game... marry, fuck, kill.
- brian boitano
- britney spears
- andre leon talley

A new to me: our variation was cyborg, vampire, alien.
marry: andre leon talley (for money and couture cast-offs - and the opportunity to rub out anna wintour and her vogue cronies)
fuck: britney (clearly the richest of the three, but there's that pesky gay marriage thing; if the sex, in turn, happened during one of her benders, i could convince her it never happened)
kill: poor brian boitano (merciful oblivion - his only semblance of life at this point is south park mentions)

Q did lord of the rings: return of the king deserve to sweep the oscars last year? if no, what movie would you have chosen as all-around most deserving of recognition?

A not sure i'd agree that it did - no acting awards, and cinematography went to master and commander. in retrospect, i think it deserved just about everything it received - maybe cinematography on top of that, come to think of it - because it was such a painstaking adaptation of some really difficult works. for an all-around film, now? i enjoyed lost in translation the most, but that's neither here nor there. the only glaring injustice i saw was renee zellweger's win for cold mountain. lame.

Q i'm in desperate need of a decent foreign movie featuring good writing, acting, directing, or cinematography, or all of the above...what's your recommendation? (ps. amelie doesn't count!)

A la fille sur le pont (1999), starring vanessa paradis (aka johnny depp's babymama): a romance featuring a suicidal girl and a circus performer. instead of sex scenes (when was the last time a french movie excluded those?), there are tender knife-throwing sequences set to a marianne faithfull song. even joe was enchanted by this, and he usually won't go near subtitles.
la grande vadrouille (1966): a slapstick comedy about airmen downed in nazi territory during WWII. not the brainiest thing out there, but it's one of the most popular frenchie flicks of all time - and damn funny.

Q how many cats is too many?

A really acute space considerations notwithstanding, i'd say two is the magic number. the ones i grew up with always bonded in pairs, and with any more one starts to run into multiple litterbox / attention / bed overcrowding issues.

Q most of us have dreams which overlook our limitations in life: physical/financial/etc. tell us about one of your ambitions which you are least likely to achieve & what is the reason that is holding you back from it? (feel free to edit that question so that it makes more sense....)

A it'd be rather awesome to volunteer for deserving nonprofits all the time instead of holding down a job. i'd like to say money is the only inhibition there, but i also have the attention span of a mayfly.

Q Did you participate in spelling bees or contests as a kid, and if so, what were they like for you?

one spelling bee, in fourth grade: i made it to the county level and flamed out on, as i recall, bureaucracy. the shame led to a grudge against bees (and, interestingly, bureaucracies) that endures to this day. academic pentathlon in sixth grade was much better, but by seventh grade i realized that showing up to school an hour early was like asking to be beaten up.

Q As an aficionado of good bad movies, how did you feel about "Deep Blue Sea" starring Saffron Burrows, Sam Jackson, Thomas Jane, LL Cool J, Michael Rappaport, and Stellan Skarsgard?

i didn't expect to enjoy it, but i absolutely loved the scene where the shark chases ll cool j into (and through?) an oven. four out of four viewers found the whole film hugely entertaining. on good bad movies, our local delivery guy brought us a free copy of weekend at bernie's with our pizza and bread sticks last night. that guy deserves an award.

Q After the period: one space or two?

these days, one - i believe i learned it as two, but that just looks silly to me. on a related note, i've been getting shit at work for putting a space between, say, 5 and pm. is that a common thing, or am i the asshole?

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