1. someone asked me for directions on wednesday. my answer was (accidentally) half wrong, but it was coherent - and it was too early in the evening for her to end up anywhere horrible.

i'm invariably mistaken for a local, but it usually takes longer.

2. to impress ladies at bars, fancy nyc guys purchase bottles of alcohol instead of ordering drinks. a bottle of absolut, for example, would cost about $300. can't say that would work on me; $300 in ferrets or roller skates, yes.

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