I'm sitting next to Evelyn, the woman with the stomach cramps. "My heart's racing to see if she calls out my name," she whispers. Evelyn has come on this cruise specifically to ask Sylvia about her stomach pain.
"Evelyn," Sylvia calls.
She walks up to the microphone.
"Uh," she stammers.
"Speak up, honey," Sylvia says.
"Um," Evelyn says.
Sylvia looks impatient.
"I—uh—think I've got a poltergeist in my house because things keep moving in my dishwasher," Evelyn says quickly. "Can you tell me the poltergeist's name?"
"The poltergeist is an older relative called Doug," Sylvia says.
"Thank you, Sylvia," Evelyn says.
She sits back down. I look at her. She shrugs.
(jon ronson, from lost at sea: the jon ronson mysteries)