fucking pimento cheese

a girl without her blog ('s comments) is a bit like a boy without his dog. it's more difficult to know when she's fallen down an old well, for example, and in the absence of interlocutors she eddies into creepy soliloquy. i've always had fairly strong feelings about what i want to say here; over these months and months of comment-less growing pains,* i've also developed a pretty intense appreciation for how very much you, friends and thoughtful strangers, share with me. i have missed you terribly. i am so glad to be able to ask you over again.

imaginary reading group discussion questions

01 if you were to make, say, a pot of chile verde, would you roast your own greenies, buy them canned, order the crazy express-shipped frozen kind, or what?

02 how do you feel about this sweater?

03 savages: derivative? interesting? both, or neither?

04 might it be reasonable to buy another little helium tank so that i can refill steve's mylar balloon instead of buying him a new one every few months? (little helium tanks are recyclable; mylar balloons from the local ninety-nine-cent store are not.)

05 is it poor form to vote for yourself in a baking contest?

*it's exciting to have been using blogger since 2001, perhaps, but it is grueling to play matchmaker between one's dinosite and the internets of 2012/13; both of my tech sherpas have been heroic.


Rob said...


Anonymous said...


1)I would roast my own or perhaps buy canned.
2) I like it. Do you wear it sans bra? Or with a cool bra that shows through the back? Or perhaps you get one of those sticky bras that look like chicken cutlets stuck on your ya-yas?
3)Savages - Not my jam, but can see why you would like.
4) How much does a helium tank run these days? GO for it, if ya wanna.
5) Not if you were obviously the best baker.

tanthalas said...

01 roast, or buy somewhat-freshly roasted; but the latter is probably a spoiled californian thing

02 like it

03 haven't heard of them, may check them out later this eve

04 is there such a thing as a refillable helium tank?

05 not if you mean it!

tanthalas said...


lauren said...


02 i tried it on with a hot pink bra (i know!), and for non-work situations, that would probably work. maybe a black bandeau if i wanted to try to wear it to work? i feel like a pirate just looking at a sweater in this weather, much less a nearly $300 sweater, but if it went on crazy-sale, listen. also i have decided that before i get old(er) i need to wear marginally revealing clothing, and cleavage just ain't gonna happen.

04 a recyclable one, if you hoard your coupons, is about $35. given that steve uses one balloon every month or two and we throw roughly one balloon-oriented party per year (by the way, we are throwing a prom this year, i have decided), such a tank would last us 10,000 years.


03 they are SHOUTY, but they are very exciting from where i'm sitting. i haven't seen a ladyperformer with that much raw energy since...le tigre, tribe 8, and chicks on speed in the early aughts?

04 there is such a thing as a refillable helium tank, but they seem to be a couple of orders of magnitude more expensive than the recyclable ones.

lauren said...

@tanthalas oh, and on the chiles: i roasted my own (sourced from the local indoor market, which is...good, but depending on how you buy into NM chile hype, not up to snuff), and they were not very spicy. i supplemented with a can of hatch chiles (hot) and five fresh jalapenos. then again, i subbed in portobello mushrooms for pork; maybe i shouldn't be worrying about authenticity at all?

lauren said...


uncle paul said...

Oh, I think I like Savages. Have they come stateside, or are we just to experience them on YouTube for now?

lauren said...

paul, i believe they played williamsburg (of course) a couple of times recently. they have another show coming up in a few months, and we have tickets! rocktober in july, o my brothers! (joe is skeptical of "husbands," though he liked "shut up.")

Anonymous said...

M D F said...
02: That juxtaposition is VIOLENT. 04: Feathers : Hope :: Helium : ? 05: Always, you've got to rep your X. 0?: How do you remunerate tech sherpas?

lauren said...

0?: How do you remunerate tech sherpas?

silver and song, i think. or is it branston pickle and limericks? nothing rhymes with sherpas (the internet suggests "macrocarpa," which is not at all as cool as i wanted it to be, and nyckelharpa, which - i think the internet is broken again).

Anonymous said...

01 roast your own tomatillos and chiles, OF COURSE! ('spoiled Californian thing', seriously?)

02 love the sweater, but you have to go with an obvious bra with a front closure to make the back strap smooth (nothing spoils lace like mechanics showing through)

04)definitely buy a tank. as happy as balloons make steve it's worth it.

05) if you deserve it, hell yes!

17 beats. said...


esb said...


(okay, going to read the post now)

esb said...

all i know is VOTE FOR YOURSELF. for sure.

also i don't like that sweater.

lauren said...

@esb see, this is the kind of information i've been lacking for the last whateverlong. (you guys know i don't buy all the things i ask for opinions about, right? i feel like that should go without saying but then sometimes i wonder if it sounds like i have golden underpants. bad example, since i do literally have a bunch of golden underpants, but figuratively.

lauren said...

...i mean, i buy some of them. the helium tank might happen.)

Rachel said...

1. ROAST YOUR OWN! Use your broiler.
2. I like the concept but perhaps not the execution? Would need to see in person - lace can go cheap so easily.
3. Videos. I cannot watch them at work.
4. There's a helium shortage on, so this would be almost like investing, right?

Dear god, I've missed this.

jjl said...

1) Roasted my own tomatillos/pasillas/anaheims...etc and was alarmed by this new "fresh" flavor I was tasting. Beware the unprocessed and under-preserved!
2) This sweater would perfectly frame my life sized tattoo of Warwick Davis as The Leprechaun (from Leprechaun: back 2 tha Hood)
3) Savages? The post-punk revival band? Well, considering there is nothing after punk but death, a revival would make them zombies. And zombies are played out. The genre feeds on itself, which is bad zombie form. Derivative.
4) I've never wished I had one less helium tank.
5) Absolutely vote for yourself in a baking contest. Self-promotion is yeast...disgusting in some situations, necessary in some baking contests.

Comments are the icing?

lauren said...

leprechaun + lace would be a fine theme for the debut issue of cats + flats; i'll work on this. i'm traditionally a leprechaun in space supremacist, but there's room in the tent for everyone.