08.27.08: the dirty dozen, part I {her smell is not possible}

01 via the people's popsicle, a crew that makes frozen treats out of greenmarket goodies at brooklyn flea every sunday, a recipe for peach, chamomile, and honey pops: now, where was this when i brought peaches home from the upper west side last month? verily, i'll be hunting for a bouquet of chamomile flowers down in union square this weekend.

02 last friday, to my great surprise, george and joe agreed to watch teeth, better known as "jaws meets the vagina monologues!" (per the village voice). we were all fairly unmoved (saved! did a better job of spoofing the abstinence movement), though joe and i did enjoy adapting and singing songs with "vagina dentata" rhymes under our breaths for the next few hours ("hakuna matata" in his case, "escape (the pina colada song)" in mine). what a wonderful phrase indeed.

03 in bruges (the first feature-length film by martin mcdonagh, the irish playwright) didn't inspire song, but it's the first UK gangster flick i've appreciated in years - probably because bruges itself is such a spooky beauty (and mcdonagh's sets are all about purgatory via hieronymus bosch, one of my favorite painters). i recommend it, especially if you're the sort who lets movies influence your vacation plans: i'm all about planning a belgian expedition after next year's iceland trip (i realize i'm talking about 2010, but hey).

04 karl lagerfeld on the media, from an interview in the sunday times:
"I have no problem with journalists – many are friends," he says. "Only if they are really stupid, or if they've got bad breath, or if they smell. Yesterday I had a problem. I said, 'I'm sorry, you've got to tell this woman that she needs to be taken away. Her smell is not possible.' "

[...]

"I'm mad for books," he says, sitting motionless behind his black Dior shades. "It is a disease I won't recover from. They are the tragedy of my life. I want to learn about everything. I want to know everything, but I'm not an intellectual, and I don't like their company. I'm the most superficial man on Earth."

05 as cable news crews hunted for cra-a-azy hillary fans on the convention floor after the keynote last night (they only found one, but she haunts me still), i was reminded of that oldie-but-goodie, current tv's target: women's take on suffrage ("you watch army wives? i watch army wives! i'm voting for you!").* i am over the question of whether or not PUMAs will make a difference in november; i thought hillary's delivery of harriet tubman's lines was thrilling, but i don't know that it mattered. was what she said significant for undecided voters? it's been so very long since i've seen or heard from any that i really couldn't say.

06 reusable/washable produce bags with tiny skulls! between the free stuff table here at casa de ladymag and the four thousand craft fairs i attend, i don't really need any more tote bags for the grocery store; i do occasionally take those wimpy little disposable produce bags, as the bundles of cilantro i buy at the amish market appear to be ripped straight from a bog and muddy up the rest of my veggies. these (less wasteful, with skulls) are much better.


imaginary reading group discussion questions

01 how can you tell if a peach is ripe without squeezing it? apparently squeezing is discouraged.

02 ever been to bruges? is it as magical as it seems?

03 what did you think of hillary's convention speech?


*the whole series (sarah haskins's comedy shorts on how women are pitched) is pretty excellent; chick flicks and birth control are especially zesty.

11 comments:

tom said...

This whole PUMA story has been the most overblown piece of bullshit I have seen in quite some time. And that's saying something for a political junkie like me. Insofar as that side of things goes: last night's speech was strike-em-out, throw-em-out fanfuckingtastic. More broadly, I thought the speech was good. Three months late, but still good.

(Troubling, though: there apparently were anguished cries of "no!" when Hillary basically told her delegates to suck it up and vote for Obama; there is also talk of a walkout by Hillary delegates if the roll-call doesn't happen. Spare me, Lord.)

Eric said...

Hillary is so last week

Palin is the new Clinton

:)

lauren said...

dude, i am afraid to start posting about sarah palin; i don't think i'd be able to stop. it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. heaving breaths...

pica said...

Yay, Madeline Kahn!!! !

anonymous said...

While most folks are concentrating on the implications of this development for late night comedy, I'd like to sound a more serious note. This is hardly the first time this summer that a political leader in a former Russian territory has staked out a fringe secessionist position. Could the new-found prominence of the Alaska Independence Party portend a South Ossetia style invasion and annexation? Conservatives have been touting Alaska's proximity to Russia and Palin's consequent foreign policy experience. Does this mean that Governor Palin has already engaged in negotiations with Prime Minister Putin and President Medvedev? It would be irresponsible not to speculate ...

baby jo said...

palin is pathetic. the excuses for family values make me sick, as does the confusion over her and her daughter's pregnancies. never would i have thought i'd see the republican party sound so pathetically faux-feminist, and i've only been paying attention to politics since i could vote.


p.s. i love mad-kah. forever live history of the world part I.

baby jo said...

oh yeah, and viva la mexico....

Eric said...

imagine the howling and rending of garments at Fox News if Obama was part of the Illinois separatist party and tried to get out of the Union.

lauren said...

@Anon: as i was fond of saying when northern california threw its "we'll be our own state!" tantrums back in the day (hey, whose fault is it that they sold all their water rights down south and could only shower once a week while people in LA hosed down their driveways? foolish hippies), let 'em go! better yet, let's teach palin et al a thing or two: we'll make a forcible gift of alaska to russia (a la the great concavity in that foreign policy classic, david foster wallace's infinite jest) and then start launching our toxic waste up there via massive catapult. that expresses my feelings about palin quite nicely.

Meg said...

We do know undecided voters. Oh, working/learning in conservative fields. You know what they told us would swing them? The VP pick. Quote "As long as McCain doesn't pick some right wing ignorant nut job, I'm voting for him. Obama is pretty liberal for me."

Ha.

anonymous said...

Agreed! And for what Peggy Noonan has to say about Palin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrG8w4bb3kg