as i mentioned a few days ago, joe hooked up with the local C team for the nydo's tuesday night league. i was worried that george and i had railroaded him into it - there's more than a little pageant mom in the way we deconstruct him when he plays. oh, he's doing the pre-throw flutter - he should lay off the five and just splash when he goes for the bull. i would have wanted to come along anyway, since we both know all of the guys he plays with and hey, the home matches are at our favorite bar, but i owed him the support regardless. luckily (pathetically?), darts-watching is great fun (if not the great-great fun of playing). there's the amusing transformation of big gruff pub regulars into whispery gossiping ladies - i'm solid enough on game strategy (and whispery gossiping ladies) that i can play along for that part (and the list-making and all-star scorekeeping, most arcane). then there's the unabashedly gleeful way they celebrate - one of joe's teammates, a greek guy who had been grumbling about getting hit by a taxi that afternoon when he was on his bike, squeezed his eyes shut and danced like a leprechaun when joe got a crucial ton in his last round of 501. full-fledged bear hugs all 'round when they won the match in the last game. i don't mind that i look like a groupie for coming along - i'll be asking to play in the spring. it's nice to feel like we're part of the neighborhood (yeah, i watched a lot of cheers at a formative age).

joe was in such a fine mood after the win that he's letting me post his spam poem. it has a great-escape*-liner-notes feel, maybe, but i think it's really about the wonder of darts.

Your friend is here

Czech Olympic Committee annihilates
Free games for all
Our present for your health

Join the Growing Fans of Dry Cleaning Bag
Big size - is success
Make your fat friends envy you

Contemplating Suicide?
Summer is almost here, be ready
We have what you need

Hey Ervin
You have got to read this before Tuesday
Big Day Tuesday

*and what's with damon albarn dissing that album? it's always been one of my favorites.


tom said...

all-star scorekeeping, most arcane

Oddly, I watched a few minutes of the World Series of Darts on ESPN ("If there is any method of scorekeeping involved, we'll air it!"). The guy who announced the score have a very English, extremely growly voice. Almost comical, really.

What is Joe's opinion of electronic dart boards? They are beginning to outnumber the real thing in bars, you know. Me: I disadmire them very much; I'd imagine he hates them as well.

tom said...

Sorry for the Bushist subject-verb agreement thing in the previous post. Should be "guy who announced the score has..."

How will I ever live this down?

lauren said...

well, technically i could just edit the grammar for you and then delete your second comment and no one (else) would ever know. i don't delete comments without being asked, though, except for that one time someone misinterpreted your comment about cancer (which was legit) and said something spooky.

we haven't ever had to deal with an electronic dart board, actually. we tried purchasing one of those weird cheap plastic ones for use at home a few months ago, and it sucked - it went under the couch and came out a week ago so i could formally throw it away. given that we actually own very nice titanium darts now, i feel i can officially say that joe would be against an electronic board. there's nothing like the thonk of a solid toss at a bristle board - so, so satisfying.