09.05.05 [AZ]

joe's relatives are trickling into flagstaff from utah, the phoenix area, and the east coast; the extended-extended family are due today, which is when my name-recognition abilities will take a serious hit. the memorial service for his grandparents isn't until tomorrow, but the aunts and uncles spent last night watching old videos of the matriarch and patriarch. got a call yesterday morning from my mom, who says that my own grandpa is taking another turn for the worse; after putting in what might once again have been my last call to him, reminiscing with the folks out here, and finishing j.m. coetzee's disgrace, i've had enough of death to last me for a long time. on the phone with mom, i saw a pea-sized black widow in its spooky patternless web between fenceposts in the driveway. she said she doesn't kill them unless she finds them inside. i forgot about the spider until the end of the call when i was shuffling my feet by the posts, and there it was in the cuff of my jeans. it was a weird day.

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