was so very bored yesterday that i finally accepted a pamphlet from the dude who sings unintelligible yet operatic hymns and patriotic songs in front of the office. if you remove bible quotes and the phrase "go to hell," it's found poetry:
Man does not seek after God, but in His love, God seeks man, so that he will not
While His Spirit works in your heart, please do not
You cannot go to heaven by church membership or good works, but only through the blood of Jesus, so please do not
Here God says again, if you go to heaven, you must go through His Son Jesus Christ. There is no reason for you to
Once you see yourself as a sinner in God's sight and realize that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven, the Holy Spirit says, "Please do not
We cast things away when we no longer need them, but God will never cast you out when you come to him. He begs you not to
After you hear the Word of God, please accept Him, because after death it will be too late. Please do not
Regardless of what man may say, God's Word is true; therefore, please do not
Repentance is seeing yourself as God does, turning from your sins, coming to Jesus Christ, and trusting Him for our salvation. If you do not repent, but reject Jesus Christ as your Saviour, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Please do not
If you will accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour, please pray with all your heart:

on the subject of casting things away, the proprietress of there is no away has undertaken a fascinating project:
I publicly agree to take responsibility, for one month, for all the packaging that comes into my life. While I will continue to mulch, burn, and compost those items that I normally deal with in those ways, I will catalog all the (plastic) garbage that I would traditionally toss in the trash or send off to recycling, and make something useful out of every bit of it. For one month.
cigarette butts would unmake me in a situation like that, though chow yun fat fans would argue that they plug up gunshot wounds pretty well. me, i thought they turned into baby pigeons until i heard cheeping and saw a nest above our building's awning last week. there goes that theory.

on the subject of joe's brain, here is a picture of joe's brain.


bassett h.q. said...

My preaching nemesis is the guy with the mic in front of the Old Navy on State and Washington downtown. I don't pass by that much--it's a block north of my Red Line stop--but in the four or five times I have in the past year, he has something to the order of "smoking draws you away from God." Whether this is true or not is unknown to me. But I get the impression that he is not so much a preacher but the neighborhood nooge, criticizing everybody who walks by just for the hell of it.

Oh: and now batting for smoking in bars in Chicago is Mike Ditka. Consequently, it's all but wrapped up: we're smoke free in six months. Damn.

uncle paul said...

What a fine young brain! Listen, kid, a man like me has got some use for a brain like that. Come work in my ball bearing factory!

bassett h.q. said...

Yeah: about that noggin of Joe's. Why was it being looked at? Nothing serious, we hope.

lauren said...

no worries, it was scanned for safely ludicrous reasons. he was attending a medical seminar and they wanted to demonstrate their fancy equipment, so he volunteered his bean. he also have rainbow-colored films from when they asked him to yell TURKEY! and RUBICON! and so on. a friend is donating a custom light box so we can display them.

sara said...

ohh...can't wait to see the full-color versions!!!