en route to the terminal, christmas eve eve

how florid you were, end of 2011! abandoned by an ailing milkmaid, i watched a kid from billy elliot dump blood all over a bunch of shakespeareans;* spirited to arizona, i read the hunger games trilogy in like thirty-six hours and beheld a giant snowman made of diet root beer. i floated in a nudie tank at the new museum and ended up with swimmer's ear; i flew to california and received a rhino head made of old pants. i donned a creepy venetian mask and completely missed the orgy room at sleep no more.*** i started a book that, had i finished it, would've won THUNDERTOME for the year. there is much to tell, and i have missed you.

imaginary reading group discussion questions

01 does stage blood bother you?

02 how many plane rides did you take in december?

03 would you risk getting swimmer's ear from a museum's nudie tank?

04 if you were a rhino head made of old pants, would you rather hang above a bar cart or in a bedroom?

05 can i post another dozen subway readers even though some of the previous fourteen remain unmatched?

06 where were you on new year's eve?

*second-bloodiest show i've ever seen!**

**the all-time bloodiest was evil dead: the musical.

***which, let's be honest, is probably for the best; december was already unusually nude.


anonymous said...

01 no, but i'm pretty sure most of the plays i've seen have been bloodless. or i've been too far away from the action (e.g., "troilus and cressida," national theatre, 1999).

02 actual planes, including layovers? if so, 8 (to nashville and back via chicago, to syracuse and back via chicago).

04 do you want it protecting you or your booze?

06 indoor soccer in the afternoon, then "coco before chanel" in the evening and in bed by 10. i dislike NYE.

jacob said...

that was me.

kidchamp said...

i'll turn to you THUNDERTOME after next (justine picardie's CC biography) for your take on chanel; mine is intense, to put it mildly.

rachel (heart of light) said...

"nudie tank" is pretty close to the top of the list of phrases i would never expect to see here.

i used to have a dropper bottle of vinegar that i would use post-swimming to prevent swimmers ear. 

i was at home, relaxing. it was amazing except that i sort of wish that i'd relaxed a little less and cleaned up a little more, because you can really tell that we did nothing but sit around in our apartment for three days. not the nicest way to start the work week/new year. 

rachel (heart of light) said...

ALSO - i somehow thought that the snowman was made of frozen diet rootbeer, and was totally baffled as to how much effort that would take. this looks easier but is still fairly inexplicable. 

_M_D_F_ said...

01: Thinking of that scene from The Adams Family always makes me smile... And I wish I could've seen some performances of Sarah Kane's Phaedra's Love I've read about, so no ma'am. 03: That William Hurt documentary Altered States seems to recommend the experience. 04: Bizedroom- no, wait, can you decapitate a small rocking horse, transplant, and move him around room-to-room as needed? 05: Are you sure 02 or 03 weren't reading The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table? 06: Working myself up for another viewing of 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days.

Amanda Moo said...

01 Some days.
02 Two, but it felt like seven.
03 Yes. No. Yes.
04 Bar cart.
05 No.
06 Next to this lady who kept blowing a vuvuzela.

kidchamp said...

re: 05 but you guys need to guess them, is the thing

celia said...

01 everything about the stage bothers me.
02 2 roundtrips = 4 rides
03 i'm surprised i even shower nude these days.
04 i would rather hang above a bar cart in all situations imaginable.
05 they are much too hard for me, but i'm going with no.
06 at home, with a baby who was teething, and cried and screamed for hours. joe was at work. it was the worst night of my life.