1: okay, it's charades! what classic video game am i? [makes obscene gesture]
2: dig dug?
1: we're soul mates.

i've been dishing out opinions for fun and profit all the live-long week. monday i told two earnest japanese women how to market their tofu to western consumers.* the $50 gift card i received for my weird stories of tofutti and punk rock kitchens has been impossible to spend, on christmas presents or myself. i have big plans to tell six more women about tofu so that i can own one of these - mmm, painty pixel art. monday was also the long-awaited 300 press screening, spiced up with a Q&A session featuring zack snyder (dawn of the dead), the pleasantly scottish gerard butler, and frank miller (hot shit!).** wednesday, in turn, was press duty for bug, a thriller with ashley judd, harry connick, jr., and lukas-as-an-escaped-mental-patient-if-you-squint-really-hard-and-aren't-particular-about-particulars (michael shannon).*** and yesterday - yesterday i was simply asked to rule on whether or not a few dozen strangers were attractive, which is one of the weirdest official duties i've had in a while (since the infamous butt modeling of '05, probably).**** i am, in fact, tired of being judgmental. i fear you, foreign feeling!

*in my opinion, it should be packaged in smaller quantities, with recipes.

**in my opinion, gerry butler used a butt double for the scenes with gorgo, but i was too chicken to confirm. also, it was a bit miserly to show us a mere 30 minutes of the movie, audience full of slavering spoilertastic comic book industry professionals or no.

***in my opinion, this was probably an excellent play - like the house of yes, its theater roots were re-eally apparent, which is occasionally awkward. not bad, though, and joe really liked it.

****in my opinion, americans have strange ideas about what others will consider appealing (both physically and philosophically).

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