happy june, all! time for another installment of come here, go away (still tm tomato nation).

come here, the descent, you crazy foreign horror flick. you've got an all-female cast, you're the scariest thing i've seen in years, and your advance screening was free. you could have chipped in for the stiff drinks we needed afterward, but hey.

go away, cesar dog food commercial featuring the magnetic fields' "i think i need a new heart." i've gotten past the idea that indie bands should hide in my CD pile and refuse to shill for corporations - hell, i actually enjoy the jaguar commercial with spoon's "i turn my camera on" - but cheap dog food? joe supposed that stephin merritt feeds the stuff to his dog, to which i say two wrongs don't make a right. then i think of the culinary implications of the title and - ew. that's like "judy and the dream of horses" in an elmer's glue ad.

come here, replacement wedding florist - no, really. sure, my mom is the queen of last-minute event planning and could pinch hit if you continue to flake on me, but i've given you money, and we're way past the point where you could tell me for three weeks in a row that the estimate would be ready "tomorrow." i will cut you.

go away, crappy american economy. a bride-to-be shouldn't be worrying about the federal reserve, but my ignorance of projected exchange rates is killing me as i plan this wedding. the british pound is kicking ass and taking names: if i'd made today's reception payment six months ago, i'd have saved a cool $200.

come here, knitta, please! - i wish i'd thought of tagging car antennae and telephone poles with fuzzy scarflings and half-socks. much like the leekspin girl (via douglas), your crew takes me to a happy place where i don't want to beat florists to death with ben bernanke.


sara said...

i'll bite...

come here, june 16th at 12:30, because finals can't be finished soon enough

go away, awful headache that keeps comin' at me with all the force of bill murray's redundancy in "groundhog's day"--no matter what i do, it just won't die

come here, new york city and the hell's kitchen couple with the huge, comfy sofa--so, when am i gonna jet-blue over there? let's set a date ;)

go away, final papers that must finish themselves today so that i may be sane for the rest of the week and enjoy tom stoppard's "the real thing" tomorrow.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer said...

Dog Soldiers is pretty good too. Same director. Werewolves played by ballet dancers on stilts. It's bitchin'.

lauren said...

yarr, we rented dog soldiers last weekend. being rather hairy yourself, perhaps you can help us out with the details: was the paranormal naturalist chick canine from the very beginning, or did that happen along the way?

loved the matrix line in DS, as well.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer said...

From the very beginning. Duh! She was a member of the family and lured them there on purpose.

lauren said...

but then why did she take so long to turn?