04.09.09: the dirty dozen, part II {bless us every one}

05 my camera's moodier settings are having, i will admit, an unduly dramatic effect on the tone of my photos. i was going to post a gaily colored picture of the trees blossoming in front of my apartment, but it's so much more fun to caption the ones i take in pinhole mode.



the orphans rejoiced when spring put her arms around the tenement building.

06 according to this morning's newsletter, gwyneth paltrow is selling her goop online ("i thought maybe i would ebay some of my favorite and most treasured things to raise some money for the robin hood foundation, who do a lot of amazing work in new york city."). this is a bold move: as any voodoo priest can tell you, it's a lot easier to practice black magic on someone when you have some of their personal effects. don't anger anyone who wears chicken bones as accessories, gwyneth! of course, there is the distinct possibility that they aren't her personal effects at all; it's a likelihood, really, for the idea that she and i wear the same size is more than a little silly (and, well, the items are listed as new).

07 via popbitch, the charles mingus cat toilet training program ("it took me about three or four weeks to toilet train my cat, nightlife."), c. 1972. no, seriously.

08 we've tiptoed into the time of year when i have jonathan richman's "springtime in new york" in my head in a near-constant loop. here's hoping a full version pops up on youtube one of these days; live, it's one of his loveliest songs.

on canal street in april when it's 60
and the snow is melting fast
it's still shady in the morning
when you're laughing in your t-shirt running past

in tompkins square park, a couple is meeting
say what you want but i feel my heart beating
cause i love springtime in new york,
springtime in new york i do

02.25.09: lau rouge



i've developed a few theories about short hair over the decade or so that i've had it (off and on, disastrously, from ages 8 to 12 or so, and off and on again from my early twenties 'til now). most women wouldn't have it themselves, but are very invested in knowing a woman who does: whenever mine goes short again, everyone tells me how happy they are about it, like i've relieved some sort of collective lady-tension. women also like to tell me about how they want short hair but couldn't pull it off or, most commonly, "don't have the face for it" (which is patently false: if i can do it with this crazy german profile, anyone can). it's a lot of responsibility, shouldering girlfriends' and coworkers' and clerks' issues with a mia farrow 'do. it has its perks, though: when my hair is this short, nothing is too girly. i can wear ridiculous little sundresses, doll shoes, a bright purple track jacket - you name it. i wore a glittery silver cardigan to the office today.

red! hair has its own peanut gallery and associated issues, things i'd forgotten about until i accidentally nuked my head saturday afternoon (my color has faded pretty quickly the last few times i've dyed it, and i overcompensated this time by picking an especially vivacious shade at the drugstore). some of the random new york attention is very sweet: as i came home from pho-errands the other night, a doorman called out, "it is a beautiful color, lady, beautiful!" in a thick caribbean accent. all of the reactions have been good, in fact, except for at the office, which is what i feared when i first realized i was going to be en fuego for a while. i don't know that it's officially unprofessional, but it's close enough that i've been a bit tentative about sitting in the ol' power T at meetings this week. i was already the only short-haired woman on staff, and now...i haven't stuck out this much in a while, and it's taking a while to get comfortable. the parts of me that are getting old on schedule will be relieved when i dull back down, and the part of me that's still thirteen is thrilled to look like a cartoon. is that sentence depressing?

at the other end of the spectrum, an unequivocally heartening offering from a short-haired woman: i give you rachel maddow, mixologist (preparing the jack rose, one of her favorite cocktails, at the air america studios). on distractions, rebecca traister on gwyneth paltrow's GOOP (after the valentine's day edition of the newsletter featured especially bank-breaking recipes):

But today, I just had to shake my head in something like admiration. It's almost enough to convince me that La Paltrow is performing some kind of service with GOOP. Whether she's offering champagne-wishes-and-caviar-dreams escapism or just the opportunity to hate a stranger every Thursday, she's distracting us from the worries of not being able to afford our caviar this week. And so I say, perhaps for the only time ever: Gwyneth, you go! Fuck the haters! Shine on, you crazy rich girl!

i concur, r-traist. i concur.

11.20.08: the inner aspect

as tofurky (where's your E, tofurky?) day is fast upon us, it's probably time for me to start bothering you all about taking pictures for ye olde orphan thanksgiving photo pool. you don't need to be an orphan (or to cook orphans) to throw your images in with ours: almost any festive eats will do. for more on the concept (and to talk some kitchen smack), come on over!

on thanksgiving and kitchen smack, i confess that i just received my first weekly newsletter from gwyneth paltrow's goop. what is goop? per la paltrow,

Whether you want a good place to eat in London, some advice on where to stay in Austin, the recipe I made up this week, or some thoughts from one of my sages, GOOP is a little bit of everything that makes up my life.

Make your life good. Invest in what's real. Cook a meal for someone you love. Pause before reacting. Clean out your space.* Read something beautiful. Treat yourself to something. Go to a city you've never been to. Learn something new. Don't be lazy. Workout [sic] and stick with it. GOOP. Make it great.

goop infuriates just about everyone. i get that - she does swan about like she invented pilates and long blonde hair, as they say - but she's been so impressed with herself for so long that i've mellowed into being amused by rather than disgusted with her.** come on, people: she has sages. as i commented on wabes's site the other day, i think she might be my new mischa barton (with less triangle leg***).

that said, gwynnie's thanksgiving dessert joint sounds tasty.

Pumpkin Ice Cream Pie with Maple Whipped Cream

A cool alternative (literally) to traditional pumpkin pie. If you can find pumpkin ice cream, by all means use that. If not, here's a quick and easy way to make some using vanilla ice cream, good canned pumpkin and lots of wonderful spices. When you first make the mixture the spices might seem strong, but remember that their flavors get a bit muted when they're ice cold. If you're doing Thanksgiving for a large crowd, make two of these. One is good for a small crowd and the ice cream alone is a simple, fun desert [sic] for a party of two.

SERVES: 6, very generously
TIME: 20 minutes + at least 3 hours in the freezer

- 1 cup of graham cracker crumbs (about 1 sleeve, ground in the food processor)
- 1 tbsp sugar
- 5 tbsp melted butter
- 1 pint vanilla ice cream, softened
- 1 can pureed pumpkin (or 1-3/4 c fresh)
- 1/4 tsp each ground allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves
- Maple Whipped Cream (see recipe below)****

Preheat the oven to 350 F.

Combine the graham cracker crumbs, sugar and melted butter in a pie pan (why bother washing a mixing bowl?). Mix together with your fingers and then press evenly to cover the bottom and sides of the pan. It helps to press the mixture with the bottom of a small measuring cup. Bake for ten minutes or until light brown. Let cool while you prepare the filling.

In a large bowl, beat together the ice cream, pumpkin and spices. Spread evenly into the cooled pie shell and stick in the freezer for at least three hours before serving. When ready to serve, spread the top with Maple Whipped Cream.

potentially delectable, no? i say the sages turned in a solid effort this week.

we're trucking our goop up to providence for the holiday, where we'll be frolicking with jacob and megan. there's a chance that we might make it to plymouth rock itself, and the prospect is making me feel extra-festive this year: i'm hoping to convince everyone to rock costumes for dinner (best-case scenario: clue characters). our orphan thanksgiving photos...would be amazing.

imaginary reading group discussion questions

01 are you as excited as i am about photos of other people's food? last year we had pork buns shaped like pandas.

02 how do you feel about gwyneth paltrow and/or goop?

03 why does chris martin dress like a nutcracker?

04 what's on tap for your holiday?

*given our current economic climate, this phrasing is rather unfortunate.

**also, her husband draws most of my ire. he seems like a lovely person, but i ha-a-ate coldplay.

***which is sung to the tune of "particle man," in case you were wondering.

****1 c heavy cream and 2/3 tbsp maple syrup whisked into stiff peaks.